How to Get More Privileges From Parents

At some point, children and teens beg for parents to extend some trust in the form of privileges. As a parent, it can be difficult to let go of your control and know when your child is ready to handle more responsibility and independence. No single answer will suffice for every child. However, looking for key indicators of maturity, reliability and respect for authority, along with a little parental intuition about your child's character and ability to handle additional privileges wisely, can guide you defining your requirements for getting more privileges from parents for your children and teens.

Instructions

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      Tell your child or teen that when he demonstrates that he can do a good job with his current responsibilities and handle his privileges wisely, you are more likely to grant more privileges. For example, a child who regularly walks to a friend's house and consistently calls to let you know when he arrives safely is more likely to conduct himself wisely and safely in going to a youth event with friends or having a sleepover. A child who is generally obedient and follows your rules at home garners more of your trust for resisting the peer pressure at a friend's party.

    • 2

      Watch for impulse control. Kids who can control their random instincts and maintain emotional equilibrium even in the midst of frustrations, annoyances and disappointments may be ready for a bit more freedom and privileges. When she can take no for an answer without losing her cool, test her maturity with a new privilege or freedom such as staying up 30 minutes longer or for older teens, limited driving privileges. Let her know that the privilege is on a trial basis and retaining it will be determined by her living up to your standards of honesty, trustworthiness, respect, gratitude and general responsible conduct.

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      Consider whether your child or teen respects rules, authority and limits and whether he habitually abuses the privileges you grant him. If he is constantly testing limits and challenging authority, he may not be ready for a higher trust level and more privileges. Explain to your teen that the best way to get you to extend his curfew for a special occasion is to habitually abide by the curfew he already has. Parenting Teens Online, a communications company specializing in parent-teen dialogue, states, "You have to trust your gut when it comes to how much you think your kids can handle and not just say ̵6;yes̵7; because you feel pressured. And you need to be able to explain to the younger child that he or she will also earn privileges by showing how responsible they are now by cooperating with your requests and respecting current boundaries.̶1;

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