Activities for Assertiveness Training for Children

Just Say No

• Saying "no" is the child's first, and most simple, line of defense when beginning to assert himself. A timid child is not used to speaking up for himself, so begin a shouting activity in a private area where he will feel more comfortable. Display how you would tell someone "no" and encourage him to try it again and again until he finds his voice. Modulation is key in finding what is assertive but not too loud. Move on to sentences such as "No, this is my lunch."

Role Playing

• Once the child feels comfortable saying "no," role play either between yourselves, with a puppet or stuffed toy. Act out a situation and show the contrast between shy, assertive and aggressive reactions. Have the "bully" puppet steal the "victim" puppet's snack, demand he do his homework or exclude him from playing a fun game. Make sure the child knows to walk away from teasing, ignoring senseless taunts that only look for a reaction.

Asking Opinions

• Whether playing games, watching television, taking a walk or listening to music, build the child's confidence by encouraging him to make his own decisions. Ask what he thinks about a celebrity or movie to show it is perfectly acceptable to disagree or have different opinions. Note that open-ended questions, rather than one answered in a "yes" or "no," are more likely to yield an opinion.

Out in the World

• Take the child out to a restaurant or library to encourage him to make choices, ask for help and interact with others. He will need to look at his options, make a decision and firmly, though politely, tell someone what he wants. Do not order from the restaurant menu for him but instead, have him practice telling the waiter his order. This will translate into how he should speak to a bully, firmly communicating what he wants but always maintaining his manners.