How to Teach Social Strategies to Shy Kids
When a child gets stuck in a rut of shyness, he might miss out on creating friendships with his peers, which can be frustrating and painful for a child. Social interaction is important for emotional well-being, so addressing the issue and giving your child practical tools for overcoming shyness is essential. Shyness is something your child could carry with him into adulthood, but if you teach social strategies earlier in his life, he is much less likely to miss opportunities, and he is more likely to be able to build successful friendships and relationships.
Instructions
Act in a nurturing and empathetic way with your child. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Markham, responsive parenting helps your child learn to calm himself or regulate his emotions. Empathy also accepts your child̵7;s shyness without judgment, so your child is less likely to feel insecure or like there is something ̶0;wrong̶1; with him. Be a role model for your child. Most children learn by observing, so when you hold the door open for someone, approach someone and say ̶0;hi̶1; or act friendly towards acquaintances or even strangers, make sure your kid sees you do those things. Play with your kids in a positive and peer-like way. Don̵7;t be afraid to laugh and smile or be a little silly with your kids. Avoid criticizing your child. Let your child take the lead and respond to your child̵7;s ideas; this method of play lets your child know his thoughts are valid and good, so he becomes less self-conscious of sharing his ideas during play. Make play dates for your kid. While your child can pick up some social skills from playing with you, he ultimately needs to practice playing with peers, according to child development specialists Jacquelyn Mize, Ph.D. and Ellen Abell, Ph.D. You can also discover activities that your child enjoys or excels at, and find group classes that take advantage of your child̵7;s strengths. Talk to your child about social interaction. Ask him about his day at school; if your child says he wanted to join a group playing with blocks but he was too shy, take a problem-solving approach to the situation by first validating your child̵7;s emotions, followed by asking him what other things he could try, such as asking his classmates if he could play too. You can also use social skills stories to show pictures of a given social situation and ask your child if he can think of what he could do in that event. Role-play with your child. Some children need a very direct approach to learning social strategies, and you can teach tools like eye contact, giving a handshake, smiling or responding to a peer̵7;s question. Pretend you are your child̵7;s peer; say ̶0;hello̶1; and wait for your child̵7;s response. If he doesn̵7;t give one, take a step back and ask him what he could do in that situation, like looking at his peer and saying ̶0;hello̶1; in return. Have your child practice that response. Teach strategies for handling anxiety. Nervousness is often associated with shyness, so teaching self-regulation will help your child calm down before he raises his hand to ask a question or says hello to a peer. Don̵7;t label shyness as a ̶0;bad̶1; thing. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Renee Gilbert, saying things like, ̶0;I know you felt a little shy at first, but then you got out there on the dance floor and had fun!̶1; puts shyness in a positive light by comparing that initial feeling to the end response, which was something confident.
