How to Handle Not Liking Your Daughter's Boyfriend

The frequency in which you interact with your daughter will depend on whether you get along with her boyfriend. Many daughters stay well away from their parents if their boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable in their presence. A fully grown woman is independent and will often choose her boyfriend, whether you like him or not. Of course, as her mother, you do have influence over her and can work towards guiding her to making the right decision about who she dates.

Instructions

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      Try to spend time with your daughter alone and see what she likes about him. Depending on how old your daughter is, you may want to let her know why he isn't right for her -- this should only be done if he is clearly a bad influence on your daughter's life.

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      Ask your daughter questions about him that don't seem offensive. Try not to make her defensive and don't turn her against you or make her feel uncomfortable about bringing him around you -- this could mean you'll be spending less time with your daughter.

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      Be polite and courteous to her boyfriend whenever you have to see him. This will ensure that your daughter will still want to spend time with you and it will make everyone involved more comfortable. This should only be done if you can tolerate her boyfriend and seeing your daughter often is important.

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      Intervene in the relationship if you think he is physically or emotionally harming her. If physical abuse is evident, call the police. Forbid her from seeing him if she is a minor. If she is an adult, advise her to stay with the family and to get out of her situation with the boyfriend.

    • 5

      Praise your daughter's boyfriend if he is not causing her harm but you just don't like him. This strategy, suggested by Michele Hanson of the "Guardian," is based on the idea that your daughter is more attracted to her partner if her parents dislike him. If, on the other hand, you adore your daughter's boyfriend, she will hate him.

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