How to Stop Any Argument With Your Child Quickly
Arguing works for children because parents allow their children to get away with this type of behavior. Although giving in occasionally may not seem like such a big deal, this type of reaction motivates your child to argue with you even more next time -- because he just might win. If you have established a destructive pattern of arguing with your child, you can break the cycle quickly by setting up an environment in which arguing is less likely to occur. Respond to your child's efforts to argue with you by holding your boundaries and refraining from reinforcing his behaviors.
Instructions
Give your child a say in setting rules and consequences. Sharing power avoids power struggles which prevents arguments from even starting, according to Beverley Cathcart-Ross, a certified parent educator and founder of the Parenting Network, writing for Canadian Living. Children will be more invested in upholding the rules if they have a hand in setting them and they will be more invested in making something work if they've agreed to the consequences beforehand. Exercise good judgment, however, in prohibiting children from making decisions that put themselves in danger. Set a boundary and stick to it. Put a list of rules on the refrigerator where everyone can see it and include clear consequences. Impose consequences immediately and consistently, without negotiation or further discussion. If you have both agreed upon the rules and consequences, there's no further room for discussion. Offer a warning before the situation escalates. Sometimes younger children don't know when they are becoming unreasonable and a warning will keep the problem from getting worse, according to Family Education, an online learning resource for parents, teachers and kids. Use a verbal warning such as "You are starting to argue," along with a non-verbal queue, such as putting up your hand in a stop sign. Provide feedback by validating your relationship. Remind your son that you love him to lower his defensiveness and increase the likelihood that he'll listen to what you are saying. Voice your concern factually and without emotion. Explain why his behavior is unreasonable and ask for his cooperation to work together to solve the problem. Walk away if your child continues to try to engage you in an argument. There has to be discussion on both sides for an argument to occur. Remember who is the parent -- set your limits and don't engage in any further discussion, according to Sharon Silver, parenting educator and the founder of Proactive Parenting.
