How to Get a Child Back After Parental Alienation

Identify the level of alienation. Three degrees of alienation tend to occur in PAS. In its smallest form, alienation results from a child hearing one parent make subtle negative marks regarding the other parent. At a more intense level, the child witnesses outbursts of one parent's verbal rage and degradation of the target parent. Severe alienation results when a parent intentionally and obsessively seeks to destroy the relationship between their child and the target parent, often rewarding and even encouraging the child to act in hateful and disrespectful ways toward the other parent.

Call on a social worker or psychologist for help. Regardless of what level of alienation is occuring, time is precious. Children naturally seek ways to satisfy an angry parent, and because they are unaware of the brainwashing, they often believe that an effective way to prove their loyalty is to turn away from the target parent. The situation can quickly spiral out of control and the sooner outside help is involved, the greater the chance of recovery.

Request that your family court be involved. Although PAS is difficult to prove, awareness of alienation is fast-growing amongst family court judges, and it is possible that an order can be set forth, at the very least, forbidding alienating action from occuring. Although this alone is unlikely to hinder a parent set on destroying their child's relationship with the target parent, the violation of such an order can then open doors to greater action being taken to address the emotional abuse induced by the alienating parent.

Love, love and love some more. As difficult as it may be to remain calm and to not counter-attack, the road to healing the relationship between the alienated parent and child requires tireless effort. The alienating parent should, at every opportunity, remind their child how much they love them. Over time, a child is bound to eventually develop a curiosity about the target parent's unconditional love, but only if the child is secure that the parent will be receptive to the outreach. At the very least, the peace of mind preserved by displaying endless love outweighs the guilt incurred by reacting to alienation with anger or avoidance.