Signs of Acceptance for Kids

In an article published in "The New York Times," Alphie Kohn writes that conditional parenting is counterproductive because the rationale parents apply does not matter as much as how it looks from the child̵7;s perspective. Parents have been conditioned to think that they should turn up the affection toward their kids when they are good and withhold it when they are not. However, parental acceptance is linked to positive and holistic growth and development of children and there are various signs they watch out for.

  1. Physical Affection

    • Physical affection is the clearest demonstration of acceptance. Parents communicate warmth, appreciation and love for their kids when they offer physical contact such as hugs, kisses, cuddles, carrying them in your lap and comforting them when they feel distressed or anxious. Eye contact is also very important because it lets a child read your face even as you relate to him. Being physically affectionate assures the child that his parents love him and want him around them. It is also a nonverbal way to make the child feel secure and to instil in him a sense of belonging.

    Positive Words

    • Using positive words that are not harsh, demeaning or discouraging, even where the child acts in a manner that is not desirable, is one way to demonstrate acceptance. Parents need to regularly compliment and praise their children to affirm them, especially when they do something good. If they misbehave, then you need to use your words very carefully, making sure that you restrict yourself to what they have done and not who they are. Avoid criticism and labels because the child may find it hard to break out of that definition, which has adverse effects upon her development.

    Paying Attention

    • Children crave their parents̵7; attention, and showing an interest in what they are saying and doing is a definite sign of acceptance for them. Parents need to take time to listen to their children as a way of encouraging them to have their own views. Parents can also get involved in their children̵7;s activities to get a better sense of who they are and what they need. Children prefer to have their parents̵7; full attention and may instinctively act out if they feel that their parents are only partially engaged, or worse, still are ignoring them. Therefore, it is imperative to find some time each day, no matter how busy you are, to spend time with your kids.

    Empathize

    • Taking the time to think about your child̵7;s point of view and empathizing with what he is feeling, saying or doing is a definite sign of acceptance. Parents should not constantly tell the child what to do, think or say, or how to behave, because this communicates that the parent is only interested in having her way. However, allowing the child to express himself, even when he is misguided or wrong, and trying to understand the meaning behind his feelings, actions, fears or misbehavior is a good step toward establishing a loving parental relationship, where the child feels accepted.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • Cute Ways to Tell Your Husband You're Having a Boy
      If you have recently announced that you are pregnant you will have to wait a while before you can find out the gender of your baby. Most women have an ultrasound done between the 18th and 22nd weeks of their pregnancy. If your husband is unable to go
    • What Are the Disadvantages of Having Children Later in Life?
      Building a family is a special stage in your life, and it is probable that you and your partner have discussed when you want to start having kids. Some people put off pregnancy and parenting until later in life so that they have their more youthful y
    • How to Morph Pictures to See How Your Baby Would Look
      Many people in relationships come to a point where they begin to wonder what their future children will look like. With new technology, there are various methods that allow you to morph or combine images of you and your partner to get a representatio