The No-Cry Sleep Method

Newborns

• It is important to note that newborn infants are not subject to the cry-it-out method. Even the biggest supporters of the cry-it-out theory agree that babies this small need the support of a parent and generally cry only when they need something. No-cry sleep methods have suggestions that both kinds of parents can use during these first few months of life. Understanding the needs and abilities of your baby at each stage of life is critical. Do not under or overestimate their abilities.

Attachment Parenting

• Some no-cry sleep methods developed as a part of attachment parenting and therefore involve a very baby-centered approach. Parents are the primary soothing force for the babies, placing demands on parents that can sometimes be difficult, but that supporters believe is necessary. Many parents co-sleep with their infants for easiest access to them at night, especially those that breastfeed on demand. For many parents who follow attachment parenting, feeding on demand goes hand in hand with no-cry sleeping. The child is in control of the feeding and sleeping patterns, and it is the parents' responsibility to learn their infant's cues and respect the needs of the baby over their own. By following the needs of the baby, undue crying is avoided.

Routines

• No-cry advocates Sears and Pantley find value in establishing a routine. This does not mean forcing the baby to follow your schedule, but rather establishing a schedule and routine that works best for everyone. As babies turn into toddlers, routine is practically a necessity. Parents should follow their children's cues, and watch for times of the day when they appear most to need a nap. Napping should be done at a time when it is least likely to interfere with nighttime sleep. During the rest of the day, children should be kept active and given proper nutrition. Prepare for bed at the same time each day by establishing a pattern. This pattern can be something like a bath followed by a drink, a story, and finally lights out. When the routine is first set, do not expect children to immediately fall in line. They may be awake for periods of time and may need you to sit with them and encourage them to relax. Toddlers respond well to lullabies or storytelling in the dark which adds to their relaxation. Eventually, they will associate the darkness with release and learn to relax as a result of the routine. Be diligent in the routine and be patient with the results.

Problems

• One of the most common problems that parents encounter after their routine has been established is nighttime waking. Children sometimes wake in the middle of the night crying or upset. This can be due to a number of factors. In order to best avoid this, give them no sugar before bed, make sure they use the potty before lying down, stay away from scary books or programs, and stick to the routine on a daily basis. If your child does awake upset, sit with her and calm her down. Give her hugs and reassure her that she is safe. Don't treat them as though she is being silly, but rather, respect that she is upset while explaining that she will be fine and that being frightened or upset is normal. When she is calmed down, allow her to fall asleep as she would normally.