How to Keep a Toddler From Pulling Other Kids' Shirts

Parenting a toddler is a constant battle to prevent your curious and excitable tot from biting, hitting or roughhousing with his friends or siblings. However, according to pediatrician William Sears at AskDrSears.com, your toddler is hitting or grabbing at his friend or sibling's shirt for a variety of reasons, including as a way to express frustration or simply gain attention from his parents. As the child ages, and can express himself verbally, this unwanted shirt-grabbing or physical contact with others will subside, according to Sears. However, in the meantime, it's possible to help your toddler keep his hands off his friend's shirt and to himself.

Instructions

    • 1

      Monitor your toddler to determine when he's prone to pulling on other children's shirts. According to the Zero to Three website, your toddler might display unwanted behaviors in a variety of settings, such as if he's nervous, tired or seeking attention. Pinpointing the triggers for your toddler's shirt-pulling helps you stop it before it starts.

    • 2

      Watch your toddler closely and the next time he pulls on anyone's shirt, walk over to him immediately and gently remove his hand from the garment. Sit your toddler down and in a calm, relaxed voice explain to him that pulling on the child's shirt is a no-no. Explain to your toddler that you understand why he performed the unwanted behavior. For example, tell him ̶0;I understand you pulled your friend's shirt because you're hungry.̶1;

    • 3

      Provide your toddler with another outlet for his frustration, or deal with the underlying cause of the garment pulling. For example, if your toddler is pulling on the shirt to gain the child's attention, show him another effective way to do so. Show him that it's acceptable to gently tap the other child's shoulder or touch his arm, not aggressively pull on his shirt. If your toddler is tired, take him away from the setting and allow him a few minutes to settle down, or take a nap.

    • 4

      Offer your toddler a distraction. Once you notice the unwanted behavior, Zero to Three recommends parents draw their toddler out of the setting with a hug or by pointing out a cool toy or his favorite cartoon character on a lunch box.

    • 5

      Provide your toddler with another outlet to express his frustration. If your toddler is pulling on other children's shirts out of anger or frustration, find healthier ways for him to display this unwanted emotion. For example, allow him to jump on his bed, scream or rip up an old coloring book. Whatever you choose, pay attention that it's safe and appropriate. Tell your toddler that if he's angry or sad, performing these tasks is OK. It's not, however, OK to tug at his friends.

    • 6

      Praise your toddler each time he finds another outlet for his anger, frustration, sadness or exhaustion other than pulling on another child's shirt. For example, if your toddler is pulling on his friend's clothing to get attention from you, tell him ̶0;good job̶1; each time he comes to you calmly for attention rather than tugging at another child.

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