How to Handle a High-Needs Toddler

Whether your high-needs toddler is extremely sensitive, hyperactive or easily frustrated, it may seem like he makes constant demands on your energy and time. While some defiance is normal when toddlers begin showing more independence, add your high-needs toddler's relentless persistence to the mix and you may feel as if you're being stretched too far. Instead of engaging in a never-ending power struggle, take your child̵7;s personality in stride and give him choices you can both accept, recommends Dr. Ruth Peters, author of ̶0;It̵7;s Never Too Soon to Discipline,̶1; in an article published in ̶0;Parents̶1; magazine.

Instructions

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      Establish clear rules and consistently enforce them. Be realistic about the behavior you expect from your child. For example, if your toddler has trouble coping with change, recognize that she will find certain situations overwhelming. When noise or crowds become too much for her to handle, remove her to a quieter environment she finds calming.

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      Look at your child as an individual. Avoid comparing him to other children the same age. Your high-needs toddler may act differently, but that doesn̵7;t make his behavior wrong, points out AskDrSears. Accepting that your child is simply wired differently than other kids, and that his behavior is not your fault, will help you become less critical of his actions.

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      Let your toddler know you understand how she feels. You can̵7;t change her personality but you can be sensitive to her needs. Try to see things from her viewpoint. If your child reaches meltdown mode, you won't be able to reason with her while she̵7;s in such an emotional state. Avoiding a tense situation from the start can decrease stress on both of you.

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      Think before you discipline. Although you need to use kinder discipline, all high-needs kids still require structure and limits in their lives, notes author Maureen Healy in an article published on the "Psychology Today" website. Losing your temper and resorting to unsympathetic discipline methods such as yelling or spanking can actually bring on more unwanted behavior.

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      Help your toddler feel secure by letting him know what to expect beforehand. Learning to anticipate his needs will make life easier for both of you. If there is a big change on the way, like moving into a new house or attending a different day care, prepare him gradually, suggests AskDrSears. Disruptions in your toddler̵7;s normal daily routine can cause stress, which can in turn affect his behavior. The key is to remain patient as you give him time to adjust.

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