How to Handle Your Teenager When He Won't Talk

An uncommunicative teenager may present real and unpleasant challenges for you as you struggle to know and understand what̵7;s going on inside his head. An adolescent may retreat to a place where you can̵7;t reach him at some point during the teenage years. When the silence begins, you might look for positive ways to handle the issue of noncommunication between your teenager and you.

Instructions

    • 1

      Give your teen some space if you̵7;ve been hovering and smothering him. A teenager may respond to your crowding by retreating in silence instead of chatting as you desire, advises Steve Johnson, director of character education with the Santa Clara University.

    • 2

      Avoid taking your son̵7;s silence personally, advises social worker James Lehman, with the Empowering Parents website. Even if you and your teen have an argument or disagreement and he withholds communication in response, your relaxed attitude eliminates the impact his silence has on you, which usually makes it less attractive to your teenager.

    • 3

      Abandon the issues and subjects you want to talk about with your teenager when you are striving to encourage him to talk. Instead, turn your focus on issues, subjects and situations that interest your teenager. Sports, video games, music and friends are a few possible subjects for conversation with your teenager. Stay away from confrontational topics that could create problems.

    • 4

      To encourage communication, ask open-ended questions about something your teenager has an interest in, suggest Joe White and Lissa Halls Johnson with the Focus on the Family website. Open-ended questions will require more than just a ̶0;yes̶1; or ̶0;no̶1; answer ̵1; your teenager will hopefully feel compelled to give you a more complete answer. For example, you might ask, ̶0;What is your favorite track event and why?̶1; of a teenager who participates in track and field sports.

    • 5

      Talk about yourself if your teenager won̵7;t talk to you. Share insightful and engaging stories that your teenager might find interesting. Bring up current events and dive in to see if your teenager has interesting perspectives or opinions. Your rambling might ease any tensions and start a two-way conversation.

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