What Makes Teens Unaffectionate?

Puberty

• Teens might appear unaffectionate because they are undergoing physical changes and developing their sexual identities, according to the Virginia Tech Cooperative Extension. During this stage, additional height might cause clumsiness. Girls might become sensitive about their weight, and both boys and girls might feel embarrassed if they are developing at a different rate compared to peers. All of these physical changes can make your teen feel uncomfortable in her body, and less likely to express physical affection. Additionally, an emerging sexual identity might make a teen feel awkward about physical interaction with an opposite-sex parent.

Self-Perception

• Another factor in a teen̵7;s lack of affection could relate to his self-perception as an adult. Kisses, hugs and playful interaction might seem childish to a teen focused on appearing grown-up or mature, according to psychologist Dr. Carl Pickhardt, writing on the "Psychology Today" website. This could be especially true for teenage boys, who might not only be preoccupied with appearing grown-up but also wanting to appear ̶0;manly̶1; or masculine. If a teenager doesn̵7;t often see grown men exchanging hugs with others, he might be less likely to engage in these behaviors himself.

Friends

• Teens might be unaffectionate with parents but continue to interact normally with peers. Although parents might feel hurt by this development, it̵7;s not unusual for teens to hug each other in greeting, according to journalist Sarah Kershaw, writing in ̶0;The New York Times̶1; in 2009. Mixed-gender and same-gender hugs might be socially acceptable among your teen̵7;s group of friends. Some schools, however, might have rules about limiting public displays of affection.

Disorder

• It̵7;s possible that an unaffectionate teen might be struggling with an attachment disorder. Childhood factors including divorce, abandonment, neglect or death or imprisonment of a parent might affect the teen̵7;s ability to feel connected or worthy of love, according to Focus Adolescent Services, a resource tasked with helping and supporting families with troubled and at-risk teens. Symptoms of attachment disorder include avoiding eye contact, a lack of compassion, poor relationships with peers or manipulative behaviors. Parents might also notice that teens express affection with friends or family members only at their own discretion.

Parent Involvement

• Parents can continue to offer affection to teens even when previous norms of hugs and kisses aren̵7;t welcome. For example, a ̶0;side hug,̶1; smile or pat on the back can provide reassuring parental affection, according to Pickhardt. Parents might also express affection verbally, making statements that show warmth and interest. If your teen̵7;s affection issues seem more serious, consider contacting a counselor or doctor.