How to Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Teen Kids

Introducing your boyfriend to your children -- particularly if they're moody teenagers -- can be a challenge. Teens may feel threatened or angered by the presence of a new love interest in your life, so it's important to move slowly and expect temporary setbacks. With careful planning and sensitivity, though, your boyfriend can become a valued member of your family and a trusted adult friend to your children.

Instructions

    • 1

      Wait to introduce your boyfriend to your children until the relationship is well established. When parents introduce significant others too early, children may grieve if the relationship ends. Similarly, if teens have met many significant others, they may begin to treat your relationships like a revolving door and resent anyone with whom you are involved.

    • 2

      Talk to your teens before you introduce them to your boyfriend. Ask them if they have any concerns about meeting him. When teens meet someone on their own terms, they're more likely to like him, so it's a smart idea to plan the first meeting with your boyfriend together as a family.

    • 3

      Talk to your boyfriend before introducing him to your teens. It's vital that your boyfriend knows that your children come first. Encourage him to treat them with respect, to defer to their opinions and to avoid trying to fill a parental role with them. Remind him that if your teens appear distant initially, to be patient and give them their space.

    • 4

      Introduce your teens to your boyfriend in a short meeting. Have low expectations and don't push your teens to behave in a particular way. If you make it through the meeting without hurt feelings, it's a success. Gradually, you can allow your boyfriend to spend more time with your teens, always following your teens' lead in terms of the boundaries in which they are comfortable.

    • 5

      Honor any concerns or feelings your teens have after the meeting. Kids frequently fear that their parents will replace them with a new significant other, so it's important to listen to your teen's opinion, even if you don't like it. If there is conflict over your boyfriend, ask your teens what can be done to resolve it. Find out, as specifically as possible, what your teens dislike about your boyfriend so that you can make any necessary changes.

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