A Parent's Anxiety and Fear in the Teen Years

Bullying

• The American Psychological Association describes bullying as "a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort." Bullying is different from occasionally picking on someone. It can involve words, physical violence or other means of continuously harassing and hurting a person. As a parent, it can be upsetting to know that someone is hurting your child again and again. You cannot protect your teenager as much as you could when he was young, and this can be frustrating for parents. You may also worry that at some point your child will suffer physical pain since bullying can eventually lead to violence. In the EmpoweringParents article, "Is Your Child Being Bullied? 9 Steps You Can Take as a Parent," Janet Lehman, a career social worker with kids with a master's degree in the field, offers some strategies for dealing with bullying. She suggests listening carefully to your child, coaching him on how to react or remove himself from the situation and seeking help from a teacher or administrator, if necessary.

Internet Safety

• Internet safety is an issue that parents of the past did not have to face. Today, parents may worry about cyber-bullying on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. They may worry about their teen speaking to strangers in chat rooms and eventually meeting up with people who have negative intentions. They may fear that their teenager will give away personal information to strangers. Talk to your child about how to use the Internet safely or monitor his usage. KidsHealth recommends remaining as anonymous as possible. Teach your children not to give out their names, addresses or phone numbers online. You can also limit the time your teen spends using the Internet or require him to share any user names and passwords with you.

Sex

• At some point, most parents become nervous about their children's sexual activity. They hope that their teenagers are responsible enough to avoid contracting sexually transmitted diseases, becoming pregnant or impregnating someone else. Different cultures have different ideas about sex. In "The Sleepover Question," her article in "The New York Times," assistant sociology professor at the University of Massachusetts Amy Schalet writes, "Here, we see teenagers as helpless victims beset by raging hormones and believe parents should protect them from urges they cannot control." However, others are more supportive of sex and may have more trust in their children's ability to make respectful, thoughtful decisions in their relationships, even at a younger age. If you accept that your teen may have sex, teaching him to be responsible by wearing a condom is the first step to easing your fears.

Alcohol, Cigarettes and Drugs

• Teenagers have long had to make choices about substance abuse. Educating your children about the negative consequences of abusing alcohol or drugs is important. Teaching them about the long-term health problems caused by cigarettes can influence their decisions about smoking. In the end, however, teenagers will make their own choices. They will make mistakes and learn from them. You will not always be around to instruct, advise or prohibit. So the best you can do is have effective conversations with your children and be a good role model. Give them strategies for handling peer pressure. Talk to them about the dangers of driving drunk or getting in a car with a drunk driver. Keep the lines of communication open and encourage them to talk to you about their concerns. Try to build a trusting relationship so that your teenager will feel comfortable being honest with you and learning from you.