Tools for Moms Regarding Teen Girls

It's only natural for a little girl to look up to and long to be just like her beloved mommy. Such warm and fuzzy feelings seem to fizzle, however, when a daughter becomes a teen. Once a girl hits puberty, she may view her mom more as a rival or an enemy rather than an admired ally. The mother of a teen daughter should mourn her "little girl lost" and prepare to move through what has been described as the most complex and challenging relationship that exists.

  1. Aim For Empathy

    • The teen years may bear a curious resemblance to the so-called "terrible two's." Even the most competent and confident mom can be taken aback by her daughter's propensity to be disagreeable one minute and cooperative the next, points out "Nova," Australia's Holistic Journal. Realizing that your teen daughter can feel stressed out just like you -- but for very different reasons -- may give you more patience and understanding. Adolescent girls are trying to handle budding sexuality, school, peer pressure and thoughts about the future. Meanwhile, a mother may be menopausal, which like puberty, can cause mood swings, Talking to your daughter -- when she's in a cooperative frame of mind -- about your individual stresses can be mutually beneficial.

    Keep Your Cool

    • When your daughter is in a foul mood that triggers an emotional outburst or temper tantrum, no response is the best response, according to Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler, co-author of "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict," in an interview with FamilyEducation.com. Maintaining control in trying moments can prevent a nasty fight that only leads you and your daughter to shout out hurtful and regrettable zingers. Calmly but firmly explain to your distressed or outraged daughter that you are willing to discuss what's bothering her when she settles down.

    Don't Try To Be Cool

    • Don't buy into the notion that acting and trying to look younger will somehow make your daughter interested in becoming your BFF. A teen girl typically bends over backwards to pursue her individuality, so the last thing she wants is a mother who tries to act like her. What she does need is a mature mother to count on and one who values the boundaries of the generations.

    Outlook

    • Praise, constructive criticism and plenty of personal space can make the tumultuous teen years go more smoothly than will nagging, nitpicking and leaving your daughter with no room to breathe. As your daughter grows into a young woman, you'll both have to create an mature relationship that respects your differences and your daughter̵7;s need for emotional and possibly geographical distance.

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