How to Resolve a Parent & Teenager Conflict

The teenage years are full of hormonal and emotional changes, a combination that often results in the development of conflict between the parent and teen. When you are constantly dealing with issues that create conflict between you and your teenage child, your relationship becomes strained, and your daily home life suffers. The resolution includes taking an active role in identifying the source of the conflict and taking direct measures to resolve it.

Instructions

    • 1

      Understand the underlying cause of conflict. Teenagers act out for a number of different reasons, such as feeling neglected and wanting more attention, or dealing with internal emotional issues that may have nothing to do with you. It is essential for you to understand that your teenager's actions may be symptoms of a root issue that he is dealing with. Watch his behavior patterns and the way he causes conflict so that you can determine what the issue really is.

    • 2

      Sit down and talk it out. He may at first object to it, but time talking with your teenager may be what he needs. Avoid being too parental or judgmental. Allow him to freely express his feelings, even if what he says is not something you agree with or want to hear.

    • 3

      Mentally remove yourself from the role of parent. As you talk with your teenager, empathize with his feelings, and view the situation and your child objectively. This helps you understand how he is feeling, makes you a better listener and encourages your child to feel more comfortable talking to you.

    • 4

      Be humble. Admit your part in the conflict, and apologize for what you did wrong to break down some of the emotional walls that your teenager put up against you. Defensive and overly authoritative behavior only creates a deeper emotional valley that separates you from your child.

    • 5

      Compromise. Once you talk to your teenager and find out what he is feeling, establish a tangible solution. Instead of lording your authority over your child, make an agreement. For example, if the conflict relates to curfew, work out a curfew time that you both agree to. Such a compromise lets your teenager know that you trust him because you are giving him more input.

    • 6

      Focus on one issue. Talking about conflict can snowball into a vicious blame cycle, and then the real issue never gets discussed or resolved. Focus on one issue at a time when talking with your teenager, and avoid the temptation to bring up past mistakes or fights.

    • 7

      Seek mediation. If you cannot resolve the conflict, look for a mediator. The best mediator is a third party who is emotionally uninvolved, views the situation objectively, and sees it exactly for what it is without taking sides. Such a counselor helps identify issues, improve your communication skills, and establish resolutions that both of you can work to meet.

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