How Do I Punish a 17-Year-Old?

Its inevitable; the closer your teenager comes to being a legal adult, the more she's going to push the boundaries of your restrictions and do things her own way. Punishing a 17-year-old is a delicate balance. You don't want to push so hard that she rebels for rebellion's sake, but you want to ensure that she has the wisdom and maturity that adult life requires. When punishing your teenager, remember that cooler heads prevail. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Take a walk if you need to calm down.

Instructions

    • 1

      Let the punishment fit the crime. Punishing your 17-year-old too severely for an offense is counterproductive. Rather than seeing the benefit in changing his behavior, he'll either resent you, come up with more inventive ways not to get caught, or bide his time until he can leave the house for good, intent on leaving all of your harsh wisdom behind. Check within yourself to be sure that you aren't punishing him harshly because of your own fears that soon he won't need you at all.

    • 2

      Talk to her about it. Explain why her behavior was disrespectful, dangerous, or immature. Be honest about how it made you feel, even if you find yourself saying phrases like "I feel as if you've put me on a 'pay no mind' list." Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Explain the negative effects her behavior could have if you let it continue. Use examples from your own life; you too were 17 once.

    • 3

      Decide on a punishment together. This requires a cool and calm head; if you're upset, sleep on it and talk to him in the morning. Involve him in determining what the consequences for his actions should be; this will make him feel more obliged to stick to the agreement, and help him to know exactly what the consequences will be if he attempts the same behavior again. Even though you're doing it together, don't settle on a punishment until you feel it's appropriate for the crime. Don't allow him to let himself off easy.

    • 4

      Let the punishment be a lesson. For example, if your daughter breaks curfew without calling, have her volunteer for a police station handing out missing persons fliers. Let her see all the teen girls who have disappeared so she'll understand why it's so important for her to check in with you. If you catch her with her boyfriend in the house unsupervised, have her go to a teen pregnancy class so she can see what happens when teens allow their hormones to get the best of them. Show her that all of your rules are in place for specific reasons, not just to ruin her life.

    • 5

      Stand firm. Your teen may pout or give you the silent treatment. Don't give in, even if doing so makes life more pleasant and convenient for you. Choose a punishment you can stick to and then stick to it.

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