Constructive Punishments for Teens When They Lie

Emotions can run high when you discover untruthful behavior in your teenager. When your teen lies, take it as an opportunity for lessons about the importance of truthfulness and trustworthiness. With a positive and constructive response, you might rebuild the rift between you and your child and make the relationship stronger.

  1. Address the Behavior

    • Instead of lecturing or overreacting to the teenager̵7;s untruthful statements, concentrate on the behavior to facilitate a change, advises social worker Janet Lehman on the Empowering Parents website. In a calm and rational manner, discuss the situation with your teen to determine what motivated the lie. Perhaps the teenager was trying to avoid a negative consequence or was afraid of your disapproval for something. In a matter-of-fact way, tell your teenager that you̵7;re sorry she felt the need to lie as she did, but that you want to help her resolve whatever is going on that motivated her to lie. By creating a safe and nonthreatening environment for your child, she may be more likely to confide in you.

    Natural Consequences

    • Explain some of the natural consequences of lying to your teenager so he understands the negative aspect of lying. For example, when someone lies, the victims of the lies often feel anger and hurt, according to the University of Rochester Medical Center. If lies become bad enough, some people even consider severing a relationship ̵1; peers might do this, for example. A natural consequence of a child lying to parents will be the parents feeling disappointed, concerned, hurt, angry and distrustful of the child.

    Building Back Trust

    • After explaining the natural consequences of lying, take it one step further to discuss the breach in trust. Tell your teen that the broken trust has had a negative impact on your relationship, but that you want to work with your teen to rebuild the trust, advises the Alabama Cooperative Extension. By talking about how it feels with broken trust ̵1; detached, divided and isolated ̵1; it is possible to help your teen feel the importance of resolving the mistrust and mending the relationship.

    Working Toward Reconciliation

    • Provide a concrete way for your teenager to rebuild trust and reconcile the relationship. For example, you might make your teen̵7;s curfew an hour earlier for an interim period while you monitor his activities to ensure he̵7;s behaving properly. You might also insist that your teenager call you whenever he arrives at destinations or changes destinations. You may also insist that your child only spend time with friends when an adult is supervising.

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