How to Deal With a Volatile Pre-Teen

When a sweet young child suddenly turns into a volatile pre-teen it can come as something of a shock to her parents, but it's normal for 12 year olds to be moody, irrational, selfish, sarcastic and bad-tempered. In most cases the bad moods come and go, but some pre-teens seem to permanently revert to toddlerhood. By learning how to manage a child's mood swings, parents can make this stage a little easier for the whole family.

Instructions

    • 1

      Accept that your pre-teen may be difficult and volatile for the next few years and there's little you can do to change this. His hormones are going crazy and he has a strong desire to be independent.

    • 2

      Adjust your parenting style. Make your relationship with your pre-teen a priority over discipline. The stronger the bond between the two of you, the more likely he is to respect you. Spend time showing him how much you love him, even if he acts disinterested and dismissive. Keep giving him lots of cuddles and try to connect with him when he's at his most calm, such as right before bedtime.

    • 3

      Give your pre-teen more independence. Resist the temptation to exert greater control over her life because you are worried about the changes she is going through. She is more likely to rebel against you if you are over-protective.

    • 4

      Arrange quality time with your pre-teen at least once a week, doing something you both enjoy such as watching a movie or going for a bike ride. He may moan about it and act as if he would rather be with his friends, but deep down he will appreciate the one-to-one time just as much as you do.

    • 5

      Listen to your pre-teen and try to empathize with her problems. Her developing body and surging hormones can make the smallest issue seem like the end of the world to her. Tell her you understand what she's going through and ask what you can do to make it better.

    • 6

      Insist that your pre-teen gets at least nine hours of sleep every night. Lack of sleep will make a volatile pre-teen even moodier and more stressed. Ensure the television, computer games and the Internet are switched off at least two hours before he goes to bed; if his mind is over-stimulated he's likely to find it difficult to fall asleep.

    • 7

      Lead by example. Show your pre-teen how she should behave by being polite and respectful to others yourself. It may take a while to sink in, but it's worth it. Try to model self control at all times by staying calm and collected, even when you're angry or upset.

    • 8

      Keep your emotions in check when your pre-teen causes a scene, whether in private or public. This doesn't mean letting him disrespect or embarrass you. Remind him of the importance to behave with control and kindness. Talk to him calmly and quietly, even if he's shouting at you.

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