The Removal of a Teen's Door for Discipline

Because teenagers value privacy so highly, they might consider their parents removing their bedroom doors to be cruel and unusual punishment. For the same reason, however, it can be a highly effective disciplinary technique if used judiciously. Send a clear message to a disrespectful or door-slamming teen that her behavior is not acceptable, and you're unlikely to have to repeat this unorthodox measure.

  1. Discipline and Boundaries for Teens

    • If your teen is like most kids her age, she is pushing for greater freedoms, more privileges and fewer rules. Discipline remains an essential part of your parental arsenal as she pushes limits -- and, often, pushes your buttons at the same time. Discipline should be designed to teach your teen the consequences of her failure to adhere to your rules, fulfill her responsibilities or behave as expected. Traditional disciplinary techniques with teens include grounding or loss of privileges, but sometimes unorthodox approaches can effectively get your message across. A teen who always complains about what you cook for dinner might be tasked with cooking the next week's meals, while a yelling door slammer might temporarily lose her bedroom door.

    Talk to Your Teen

    • Help your teen understand the link between the new freedoms she seeks with the new responsibilities that go with them, along with the consequences -- in terms of discipline -- when she fails to hold up her end of the deal. At a time when you are both calm and relaxed, talk about what you expect of her in terms of behavior, attitude and responsibilities at home. Stress the importance of respect for her parents, family and the family home. In this context, behaviors such as yelling, talking back, storming out of a room and slamming her door have consequences, which might range from a reprimand to losing privileges.

    Does the Punishment Fit the Crime?

    • Be realistic when establishing your rules as well as the consequences for breaking them, then follow through. If she comes home late more than once, a logical consequence might be grounding her for a weekend. Since you have told her this would happen, it shouldn't come as a surprise. If she slams her door once or twice in anger, talk to her about it and tell her that it is not an acceptable behavior. Help her identify other ways to work through her anger. This will hopefully be sufficient to keep her from slamming her door the next time she gets angry.

    If All Else Fails

    • If the angry door slamming persists, despite previous reprimands, you need a stronger response. Tell her the behavior is disruptive and disrespectful and that it tells you she is not mature enough to have the special privileges she desires -- such as the privacy of her own room. Explain that, since she can't seem to keep herself from slamming the door in anger, you're going to remove the problem by literally removing the door the next time it happens. Then do it: next time she slams her door in anger, calmly remove it from the hinges and take it away, without negotiation, for a few days or a week.

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