How to Teach Respect to Kids and Good Values
Teaching respect to kids is something that appears to have become a lost art in our society. Parenting advice for teaching respect has to come from something you've actually learned to do yourself. There are plenty of grownups who don't know how to respect themselves, let alone others, so it's easy to understand why kids don't. Troubled teens especially, most the time can start at their home life. Not to say every household is preaching bad values and lack of respect. However, some parents aren't teaching, or showing much of anything to their kids. Kids need direction and guidance from others at that age. Parenting along with guidance is needed now more than ever. Today's society can heavily influence children to behave in ways that aren't ethical. Parenting is harder that it's ever been, and requires more effort to help today's generation out.
Awhile back I read an article, a wonderful and sad story. It told the tale of two different versions of values developed in two different kids lives. This article made me feel happy, sad, and angry all in one. A 14 year old girl was waving a gun on a bus, and making numerous threats. A 18 year old boy put his life on the line, and helped saved over 20 kids on the bus. No one came out injured in this incident. A good set of values and respect taught one kid what to do. Another set put this 14 year old girl in this potential horrific sequence.
It told me a lot on where we are today as a society. Where guns, at a young age, along with violence has become normal. It's become so normal, that kids are embracing violence into their culture. Just to be clear, I am not trying to make it seem that every action a kid does, is the fault of parenting. I don't believe that at all. So I am not trying to offend any parents who are dealing with troubled kids. The greatest and most loving parents can have serious problems with kids. I don't think if a kid goes completely wrong, that parents are the automatic reason for it. I can't begin to understand how hard it is to be a parent today. It makes me mad at what has happen to us as a society, along with being fearful at the same time. Kids play follow the leader, that is what they do. They learn from the surroundings in their environment. They learn from what is in front of them. All kids are this way, they really don't know any better. Parents need to step up and put the proper values into kids lives. Parents have to play a vital role in a kids life, that goes without question. They need to raise them and teach them to have respect for themselves, along with those around them.
Instructions
Teach them to pick up after themselves and develop working skills. For instance, if your kid makes a mess, let them clean it up. Give them a list of chores that they must do. Kids will always give you a hard time, but it does provide a positive skill set for them. It teaches them a sense of responsibility as well, along with learning that they need to clean up for themselves in life. No one will be there when they're older to do it for them. They need to understand the concept of hard work in their lives, and taking responsibility for themselves. Just a simple thing like chores teaches these them values subconsciously. That's why chores are important for kids. It teaches them something. It doesn't matter if they don't like it. They also need to underestimate the concept of rules. At a young age, they don't understand why they're there. They think it's there to make the miserable, probably. They don't really have to get it at their age, but they need to understand to follow these rules. They also need to understand there is punishment involved if they don't. Don't coddle them. It's important to never spoil a kid. Too many parents tend to coddle kids, along with trying to always fix any problem they have. You can't do this and must show them there are responsibilities for their actions. If they do something wrong, let them understand there are consequences involved. Don't allow any "I'm sorry" or "please" to persuade your decisions. Those don't get you out of life situations. For instance, if you don't pay your gas bills, and you end up with no heat, saying sorry doesn't change that. Give them tough love, and let them learn there are consequences in everything in life, even if it's not fair. When you coddle children, they have this sense they can get away with anything. They don't ever learn the actual difference between what is right and wrong. They also don't understand what they're suppose to do. Don't be the one to be so quick to help them out as well all the time. Let them learn to fight their own battles and take care of their own problems. Parents want to do everything for kids. Although their heart is in the right place, it doesn't always mean that's proper parenting. Show trust to them, but take it away when it's abused. It's fair to give kids trust. Kids need to understand what trust is at the same time. You should learn to show trust on what they say or do, unless they abuse it. Then you show them the consequences of what happens when they abuse that trust. They need to learn that showing respect, means not abusing someone's trust and taking it for granted. They should also learn to understand that they can trust those as well. For kids to trust, you need to give that to them when deserved. You don't want your own kids to not trust you at all, so it's important to give it to them when they've not abused it. If they are, then they must learn how to gain it back. Teach them good values. Sometimes I wonder how many times parents do this? Sometimes it doesn't have to come out as a lecture. Kids hate lectures on what they should or shouldn't do.Telling them is better than nothing, though. Some of the values I've learn, it was never from a lecture. They came from stories that had nothing to do with me. Which was a very clever way for me to actually listen, along with learn something when I didn't even realize it. Drill values into your kids mind, but do it in disguises. Tell stories of situations that involve good values being displayed, that can give interest to your own kids. Allow them to understand that good values, and decency pays off in life. Make it clear of what good values are, because sometimes kids really don't always understand what they are. Remember, society is different today, it's not like it was when you were growing up. What you assumed as common knowledge when you were a kid is different today. Be a good example. I think this is the most important step. Kids are not stupid, and they learn from what they observe. They learn from actions and what they see. You can't trick a kid into something, and not act the part as well. They won't believe you, or trust your advice. You have to be a positive example in their life. You must show good values. It's okay to admit mistakes you've made to them. In fact, it's good for kids to understand mistakes are part of life. They should understand that it's learning from mistakes is what makes someone a good person. I think being honest with kids is everything. They don't trust easy, they're very careful at certain ages. So being open, honest, and living with good values is important. Being a positive influence is needed. There is no excuse at all. Being a parent is about having responsibilities. If you can't walk the talk, then you can't expect them to buy into it. Be encouraging to them. Sometimes parents are too busy drilling into what they should be, they forget to say things like "good job" or "I'm proud of you" to their kid. Words like that can mean a lot, at any age for kids. Even teens, who can be quite moody still like to know that they're not a big disappointment. Remember, parents aren't always the good guys in kids life. Sometimes they got to be the bad guy to get through to them for their well being. Kids still need to feel their parents think good things of them. They need to understand that good things comes from doing good things. So when they do well, don't let it go unnoticed. I wouldn't quite go to the aspect of anytime they do something good, give them something. Privileges like staying out later is good to do, but don't make it something that always happens. They need to still understand that you don't always get everything you want out of life, just from doing what you're suppose to do. They still have to understand that sometimes doing something good, is just about earning respect for others, along with feeling good about themselves. That itself is the benefit they gain. Teach kids how they're suppose to treat others and carry themselves in life. Treat them how to talk to those around them, and teach them manners in general. They should understand they're suppose to help an elder up a flight of stairs that can barely walk. They should understand words like please, thank you, and your welcome. They need to understand how they should take care of themselves. You need to show them how to respect themselves as well. You need to be encouraging in their lives, and not develop a negative mindset into them. Don't teach them to have limits in their life, or tell them there are things they can't do. Most people say be realistic with kids, you don't want to give them false hopes. Being realistic is not giving them a chance on everything. That kind of mentality isn't something parent should plant into kids minds Kids along with grownups should learn to never set limits in the things they do. They should learn to always be motivated and always believe they can do anything they want with hard work and determination. Allow them to have dreams, desires of anything they want. Kids shouldn't learn that everything is suppose to be easy. They should understand that hard work, sacrifice, along with self belief is what it takes to make it in the world. Those should be the things you drive into them, and bring motivation into their life. Never tell them they can't do something. Don't be too nice, too hard, or too phony with them. Give them honesty and sincerity. You shouldn't ever deny them of what they can do, because that isn't honesty at all. Those are only your own fears speaking. The possibility of them failing at something, and trying to hide that from them. Even if they do fail, it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Sometimes you need to fail, before you can succeed at something. Sometimes failing teaches people to want to succeed that much more, and develops character along with inner strength. As a kid, I could always sniff out when one of my parents were giving me phony praises, or expectations. They did nothing for me. I could tell when they were being sincere, and that obvious meant something. Make your kids feel they've earn praise and rewards. These things shouldn't be given to them.