Parenting Teens to Be Successful, Responsible, Caring & Independent

Recognize Independence

• Your teen is seeking freedom, but with freedom comes responsibility. While it's important for your teen to learn how to be independent, interdependence, which is the ability to depend on others, also teaches teamwork, and that's a skill all teens need. Allow your child to take on more responsibility around the house, provide opportunities where he can show he is responsible and model caring behavior each day. ̶0;When parents recognize that their children are driven from birth to meet their needs for safety, love, power, fun and freedom, and help their children learn how to responsibly and respectfully meet these needs, they are fostering successful, independent and interdependent, caring people at every age,̶1; Buck says.

Reward Responsible Behavior

• Positive reinforcement will help your teen recognize responsible, successful and caring behavior, says Fran Walfish, California-based psychotherapist and author of ̶0;The Self-Aware Parent.̶1; ̶0;If your teen is responsible by a consistent demonstration of getting his homework finished on time, coming home before curfew, going to sleep and rising on time, then he should be rewarded with increments of added freedom and independence,̶1; she says. ̶0;These added freedoms need to be comfortable for both parents.̶1; Let your child stay out one hour later with his friends on Saturday night or allow him to go to a concert with his buddies as a reward.

Foster Self-Awareness

• Help your teen find the answers to the fundamental questions of adolescence, suggests Jennifer Kogan, a psychotherapist in Washington, D.C. Your teen might regularly wonder who she is and if she is normal. ̶0;We can help them develop their independence one step at a time under our watchful eye,̶1; says Kogan. Share stories of your own youth and encourage your teen to share her feelings about success, responsibility and independence. These discussions will bring a sense of self-awareness to a confused and overwhelmed teen.

Wear Your Teen's Shoes

• Put yourself in your teenager̵7;s shoes to help him develop behavior traits that will lead to a caring, responsible and successful future. Start with some observations, says Kogan. ̶0;Think back to when you baby-proofed your home. If you just guessed what needed safeguarding, you might have missed some opportunities to protect your baby,̶1; she says. ̶0;The first step was to walk around on your knees and see the surroundings at the same level as your toddler. Once you saw the world from his vantage point, you knew to turn that pot handle inward.̶1; The same approach applies with your teenagers. If you can get a ̶0;teenage view̶1; of the mall or the route to school, it will heighten your senses about the challenges your teen is likely to encounter, says Kogan.