Parents and Their Role in Teen Stress

High Expectations

• You expect a lot from your teen, and rightly so. Most parents would sacrifice just about anything to ensure that their teens have the best future possible. Unfortunately, what you think of as motivation and help, your teen might see as pressure and impossibly high expectations. While it's OK to urge your teen to pursue excellence, it's never OK to make your teen feel as though your love is contingent upon such things as his grades, his position on the basketball team or whether or not he makes student body president. Instead, send the clear message to try hard -- you'll love him no matter what.

Constant Battles

• When your teen breaks rules and pushes boundaries with her actions, words, method of dress and even her interests, it's only natural that you want to step in. After all, you want her to be smart and successful, so when you observe behavior that takes away from those goals, you want to take action. But, before you open your mouth, ensure that it's a battle you're willing to have. Constantly nagging and fighting with your teen can cause a high degree of home-related stress, which can then spill into other aspects of your teen's life. Ensure that you choose your battles wisely, warns Linda Kobert in an article for "The University of Virginia Magazine." Go toe-to-toe only when it really matters and let the small stuff slide.

Your Stress Level

• Teens are very perceptive, so when you're stressed there's a good chance that your teen will pick up on it, according to HealthyChildren.org, a site maintained by the American Academy of Pediatrics. When your stress level is high -- whether as a result of money issues, your relationship, your professional life or even your hopes for your children -- your teen is bound to pick up on that stress level and may even internalize your stress. What's more, if you deal with stress poorly, your teen will learn from your example of stress relief.

Coping Tactics

• While you can definitely have a negative effect on your teen's stress level, you also have the opportunity to teach your teens about healthy stress and coping with the bad stuff. Healthy stress is that which helps your teen make quick, solid decisions and is a natural reaction to adrenaline. On the other hand, bad stress is the stress that affects your teen's self-esteem or makes him feel anxious and upset. Teach your teen about coping mechanisms for stress, including deep breathing, meditation, exercise, venting to a friend or letting him know that you're there to listen. That way, you ensure you have a positive effect on your teen's overall stress level, offering tools and solutions that he'll carry into adulthood.