Understanding Teenage Sons

It's frustrating to see your loving, friendly boy evolve into a withdrawn, sullen or awkward teenager that you no longer understand. Although your son's behaviors may seem strange, learning to see his actions as part of a normal phase in his development will help you not only relate to your son again, but you may even grow to appreciate where he's coming from.

  1. Struggle for Independence

    • Behaviors including becoming contrary, isolating and spending less time with you may be a misguided attempt to assert their independence, according to the parenting education website Kids Health. While it may seem strange to see your teen valuing your opinion less, teenage sons typically begin to give more weight to their friends' opinions, as opposed to their parent's viewpoints. While you should still enforce limits and tolerate only respectful behavior, don't take their acting-out personally; instead, view these behaviors as normal and necessary in their transition to adulthood.

    Search for Identity

    • Teens experiment in many areas, including choice of clothing, beliefs, hobbies and interests, in an attempt to establish their identity, according to the parenting advice website Family Doctor. Some of these behaviors are the result of your teen responding to peer pressure. While it may be a natural inclination to want to intervene and manage your child's new behaviors, the website advises to give your teen leeway when deciding minor issues, such as clothing or hairstyle choice, while still enforcing boundaries to keep him safe.

    Emotional Sensitivity

    • As you are negotiating the highs and lows of your teenage son's moods, keep in mind that he still needs your love and positive attention, according to MayoClinic. Don't let a sullen demeanor fool you into thinking your son isn't sad. The website Disney Family indicates that males begin to express their emotions less after about the fifth grade. According to the website, even though your son may not be as forthcoming about his feelings as a teenage daughter, his emotions are just as intense. The Kids Health website advises parents to support their child, remembering to give encouragement and praise.

    Warning Signs

    • While some disruptions in behavior are common with teenagers, extreme personality or behavioral changes may be indicative of a problem. Consult with your primary care physician or a mental health professional if you observe one or more of the following: significant weight changes; sleep disturbances; drastic personality shifts; sudden change in social group; school problems, such as attendance, grades or behavioral issues; talking about suicide or breaking the law. The Kids Health website suggests that any behaviors lasting more than six weeks is a cause for concern.

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