How Parents Motivate Their Preteen Girls

On the outside, it may seem that your preteen daughter is mostly obsessed with the latest fashion and her social circle, but on the inside, she is coping with issues concerning identity, freedom and acceptance from others. You may witness an ̶0;I don̵7;t care̶1; attitude that seems unmotivated at best, but there are ways to help your preteen girl care about improving herself emotionally, academically and physically.

  1. Find Out Her Interests

    • Although your preteen daughter may roll her eyes at your attempts to discover who she is, keep trying. For example, notice what tunes she blares through the house while she's completing her chores. Promise her that you will watch her favorite show with her once her homework is complete. Quietly observe her interests and make an inventory of her likes and dislikes to use as rewards to motivate her in the near future.

    Hold Her Accountable

    • As your preteen journeys toward adulthood, it̵7;s important to hold her accountable for her actions. Consequences can motivate even the most stubborn child. Make your expectations clear when it comes to household responsibilities and academic work. Create a chore chart that outlines both the rewards for finishing them well and the consequences of not completing them and give your child the chance to succeed. For example, allow her to earn one point for each chore she completes and specify a reward for a monthly total. If she does not meet the specified point total for the month, outline the consequence, such as a loss of television privileges or loss of a cell phone for a few days.

    Make Goals

    • Even at such a young age, preteen girls think about the future. Help your daughter set realistic goals to motivate her to take action in different areas of her life. Together, make a list of goals she would like to achieve, such as purchasing a car or going to college. Then, brainstorm steps she will need to take to reach these goals. Break down the steps so your preteen can focus better on completing each one. She will feel less overwhelmed and more motivated this way.

    Set Deadlines

    • Whether your daughter will admit it or not, preteens like and need structure. Teachers set deadlines and so should you. Tell your preteen when she is expected to complete chores at home or finish her homework each evening. Designate free time so she feels as if she has some control and freedom, but make sure that you stipulate a non-negotiable structured time for attending to her responsibilities. Consistency is key when motivating preteens to complete tasks. If you bend the rules too often, she will soon learn that deadlines do not matter ̵1; even though they do.

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