Telephone Communication Exercises for Teens

Texting to Talking

• The researchers at Nielsen note that, by 2010, voice call activity among teens decreased by 14 percent, largely due to the popularity of texting. While texting is an easy form of communication, and a way to converse that teens often view as fun, there are some occasions when your child needs to put his thumbs away and perk up his ears. For example, talking to grandma or having a lengthy discussion are easier on the phone. Get your teen to stop texting -- in some, but not all, situations -- and start talking with a simple exercise. Try having an in-depth conversation about a topical issue in the news with your teen via text. This will quickly show him how challenging it is to truly converse without actually talking. When his hands start tiring of typing, switch to a verbal phone call to show him the clear difference.

Give and Take

• Just because your teen and her friends constantly talk over each other at high speed doesn't mean that she should do the same on a phone call. Teach your child about the give and take necessary for appropriate phone communication with a role playing exercise. Make a real phone call to your teen or pretend that each of you has a phone in your hand. Start a conversation and begin talking over her, or not listen to her, as she may do. Ask her how this makes her feel or pose questions such as, "Do you think that I heard what you said?" and "Did my lack of give and take make you feel important or not so important?" After she gets the message, try another phone call activity together in which both of you allow an adequate amount of talking and listening. This will help to show her the difference between talking over and talking and listening to.

Emotional Communication

• Not every phone call is a gleeful chat or gossiping with pals. Some occasions require a more emotionally charged or challenging type of conversation. While your teen may not have many of these calls, as he enters the young adult years and becomes more independent, he will need to know how to communicate in a more serious manner. For example, when your teen moves out, he may need to call the utility company and attempt to calmly hash out a resolution to an incorrect bill. Try an emotional or more difficult pretend call to help him see the steps that he will need to take in order to effectively communicate. Start by instructing him to cool down. This may mean sitting silently for a few minutes before actually picking up the phone. Help him to understand that using this time to reflect on his emotions and what he wants to say is beneficial when it comes to getting his point across. Have him make a list or mini-script, saying what he wants to express. Remind him, once he makes the call, that he needs to use polite words and a calm tone of voice.

Proper Etiquette

• Starting a phone call with, "Hey, 'sup?" may pass with your teens friends, but won't fly with an adult or in a more formal type of conversation. Talk to your teen about proper phone etiquette, helping her to understand appropriate greetings, ways to answer a call and ways to conclude a conversation. Additionally, with the more frequent use of cellphones over land lines, teaching your child when it is and isn't acceptable to answer a call is key. The etiquette experts at Emily Post recommend excusing yourself from the table if your phone rings -- and you have to answer it -- while out at a restaurant and considering not answering at all if you are out with friends. Help your teen to observe proper phone communication etiquette by giving her a list of acceptable greetings, such as, "Hello, Jones residence" and practice using them when anyone calls. Another option is to track her cellphone usage and when she picks up. Give her one point for every time she lets it go to voice mail when she is out with you. After she earns enough points, give her a treat.