Bitterness In Teens

It̵7;s common for teenagers to feel anger and frustration when things don̵7;t go their way, but when anger fosters into bitterness, emotions can weigh on your teen and affect the entire family. Helping your teen recognize signs and causes of bitterness is a healthy start. Learning to cope with frustrations and letting go of bitter feelings will enable your teen to develop a healthy emotional frame of mind.

  1. Recognize Signs and Symptoms

    • Although teenagers are often labeled as moody, the signs of bitterness can be much more severe. Your teen may withdraw, exhibit a negative attitude, display apathy and possessiveness and possess a demanding attitude, according to youth ministers at Abingdon Youth, a ministry curriculum resource. When unhealed hurt turns to bitterness your teen may also experience intense jealousy, a lack of gratitude, paranoia and rebellion. All of these behaviors could ultimately lead to issues at home or school, or even trouble with the law.

    Identify Causes

    • A teen does not just wake up one day and decide to become bitter. Events and experiences lead to bitter feelings and angry episodes. Your teen could be coping with a death of a family member, struggles at school, a breakup of a romance or friendship or disagreements with siblings, according to the experts at KidsHealth Nemours. A teenager may still be angry about a recent punishment or consequence he faced that he felt was unfair. Life changes caused by divorce and a change in the family dynamic can also cause bitter feelings within your teenager.

    Work Through Feelings

    • When stressed, your teen may rely on bitterness and resentment to feel more in control of his feelings. Hanging on to bitterness often helps people feel powerful when coping with stressful situations, according to psychologist Dr. Paula Bloom, a PBS contributor. Unfortunately, the power is only temporary, she says. Help your teen recognize her feelings by discussing common signs and symptoms of anger, frustration and bitterness. Experts at KidsHealth Nemours recommend asking your teen to verbalize how she feels physically and mentally when she is upset. Does she breathe faster when she is angry? Are her muscles tense and fists clenched tight? Does she get frequent headaches or stomachaches? If your teen can see firsthand how bitterness affects her physically and emotionally, she may be more willing to work through the feelings.

    Teach Forgiveness

    • Even as an adult, it is difficult to forgive an act that hurt or offended you. Offering forgiveness and letting go of bitterness can lead to less anxiety, stress and hostility and foster healthier relationships, according to experts at the Mayo Clinic. Stress to your teen that forgiveness does not mean that you have to excuse another person̵7;s actions or responsibility. However, forgiveness brings your teen peace that helps her release bitterness and move on with her life. To forgive another, it̵7;s important for your teen to reflect on the facts of the situation and consider how the bitterness has affected her life, well-being and health. Forgiveness also allows her to release the power and control of bitterness and move away from the role of a victim.

    Seek Professional Help

    • If your teen is unwilling to forgive and move on from the bitterness that is affecting him physically and emotionally, it is important to enlist the help of professionals. Seek out counselors at school, social workers and therapists within your community or support groups for teens to give him an outlet to talk about his feelings.

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