How to Set Boundaries & a Curfew for Teenagers

Making the transition from childhood to adolescence can be difficult for both parent and child. At this time, the parent-child relationship changes. Teenagers seek greater independence, which is a natural and normal part of development. Parents often struggle to find a balance between giving their child greater freedom and setting necessary boundaries. Although it is often difficult, parents need to let go and help their teen to make good, responsible decisions. Since teenagers are changing rapidly, it is normal for parents to feel a lack of control and for family conflict to increase. Clear communication and understanding boundaries, such as curfews, can help to ease some of this discord.

Instructions

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      Set rules and boundaries and discuss them with your teenager. Make sure he understands the reasoning behind your rules. Teenagers respond well to parents who have high expectations but who also grant them a certain amount of autonomy. Avoid being sneaky or manipulative and instead play it straight. Manipulation will only make your child question whether he can trust you, and he may avoid discussing important topics when he needs it. Manipulative behavior will also increase arguments.

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      Set curfews together. Setting curfews helps keep your family culture intact and sets boundaries for your teenager. Allow her to have a say -- this will increase her feelings of independence and effectiveness and create greater respect for the new rule. Create a curfew that is age-appropriate, but don̵7;t be afraid to compromise if necessary. Discuss consequences to breaking this rule. It is important that your teen feels that the consequences are fair and make sense.

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      Remind your teen about the curfew you have agreed upon before he goes out for the evening. This helps reinforce the agreed-upon rule. You can do this by posting a reminder on the family calendar and offering a gentle verbal reminder. Enforce consequences for broken rules, but avoid dogmatism. Allow a buffer of a few minutes, particularly if your teen is driving. This will let him be late without speeding. Discuss the reasons that he is late and allow him to explain his tardiness. Remember that everyone faces issues such as traffic jams and flat tires at times. If he continues to break the rule, remind him of the consequences and enforce them.

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