How to Set Consequences for Breaking a Curfew

As children become older, they assert their independence by exploring their limits and breaking the rules. Testing boundaries is a normal part of adolescent development, according to psychiatrist Stuart Goldman in an article for WebMD. As your teen starts to separate from the family nest and develops his own sense of identity, you might feel tempted to pull in the reins as a way of keeping your teen safe and close to the family. But pulling your teen closer may only cause him to distance himself even more. By setting realistic consequences for breaking a curfew, you set the stage for independence and help him become more mature and responsible.

Instructions

    • 1

      Talk to other parents who have children your child's age. Discuss what they have established as appropriate curfews. Your curfew should be reasonable and in line with the curfews of your child's peers if you expect her to abide by your rules.

    • 2

      Sit down with your teen during a quiet moment to discuss your expectations. Let him know you are trusting him to adhere to your rules. Explain that he will need to deal with consequences if he breaks curfew. Be clear and specific with your expectations. If you set vague boundaries and don't lay down exact consequences with your teen, you should not be surprised when he takes advantage of the situation and stays out late.

    • 3

      Explain to your teen you understand that there are, rarely, extenuating circumstances that might make it difficult for her to come home on time, such as car trouble or a friend in need. Tell your teen you expect a phone call or text should these situations occur.

    • 4

      Inform your teen you will deduct the time he stayed out past curfew from future curfews, advises HealthyChildren.org, a website of the American Academy of Pediatrics. For example, if your curfew is 9 p.m. on a school night and your teen stays out until 10 p.m., you might set an 8 p.m. curfew for every night of the following week. Or if he stays out more than two hours past curfew on a weeknight, you might decide that staying in on a Friday or Saturday evening will be the consequence.

    • 5

      Explain that your teen will need to earn back his regular curfew time, suggests parenting expert and social worker James Lehman in an article for Empowering Parents. Perhaps you have deducted a half-hour from your teen's curfew for a weeklong period as a result of breaking the rules. Tell her she can have her original curfew back if she respects the new curfew for the entire week.

    • 6

      Draw up a written contract that states the rules and outlines the specific consequences you've discussed with your teen, advises The Learning Community, a nonprofit parenting resources and advice organization. A written contract puts you and your teen on the same page and leaves no room for debate should your teen break his curfew. Ask him to sign the contract to indicate he understands the rules and consequences.

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