What Are the Effects of Sibling Rivalry When They Are Grown up?

Sibling rivalry is an emotionally damaging problem that can affect not only the relationship of the siblings involved but their work and romantic lives as well. Sibling rivalry creates a set of manners and reactions to a situation that will ultimately be applied to all walks of life if not fixed.

  1. How It Starts

    • Sibling rivalry usually begins during childhood when one child is seemingly better than the other, the parents seem to favor one child over the other or one child performs better in sports or education. Other causes, such as sibling rivalry that begins before birth, would include a child being jealous of the fact that the parents are doing things for the new baby, parents are buying things for new baby and so on. Many parents can also become strict with an only child after they have a second, which can create a feeling of resentment towards the new sibling.

    How to Recognize Sibling Rivalry

    • Typically caused by jealousy, sibling rivalry can be recognized as such by nearly any reasonable adult. If a sibling tends to imitate the other, pays too much attention to the other's possessions, spends too much time trying to beat the other in sports, does or buys things after the other sibling has already bought them or displays a tense or non-friendly manner towards the other, sibling rivalry is indicated.

    Effects

    • Adults who are victims of sibling rivalry may find themselves becoming angry or resentful of their sibling, which can translate into how they live, including at work, in sports, competitions and home life. This can take the form of a sibling trying to excel at work and failing because of frustrations elsewhere, setting life standards by her sibling's achievements or engaging in arguments and fights with a sibling.

    Cure

    • With adults, curing sibling rivalry is possible under the assumption that both siblings will act like reasonable, responsible adults and take blame for a given situation. Siblings should talk to each other, aim to set different goals and avoid competition whenever possible. In many cases, siblings cannot work out feelings of resentment and jealousy in their relationships without seeking professional help. However, a good first step for many is to recognize that rivalry is generally caused by jealousy, not any attempt of the other sibling to be better.

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