How to Create a Co-Parenting Plan

Your children don't have to suffer because their parents have separated, but you and your ex will both need to commit to an amicable relationship and put your children's needs before everything else to co-parent successfully. This is no easy task when emotions are running high. Creating a co-parenting plan will help you work out joint custody arrangements and keep future conflict to a minimum.

Instructions

    • 1

      Think about your relationship with your ex in a different way. From this point on, it is all about your children. Put old resentments and grudges to one side and focus on the well-being of your children. Consider seeing a therapist if you have unresolved issues relating to your ex, your relationship or the separation. It's important to work through these issues, but keep it entirely separate from your co-parenting relationship.

    • 2

      Meet with your ex to discuss your co-parenting plan. It may take several meetings for you to iron out all the details and agree on what is best for your children. Decide on a set of rules, discipline methods and rewards that you will both do your best to follow. It's unrealistic to expect your children to receive exactly the same type of care, discipline and guidance from each parent, but do your best to achieve consistency, which will benefit your children.

    • 3

      Decide what your shared stance will be on important issues like homework, consequences for rule breaking and schedules. Your children will adjust more quickly and easily to splitting their time between two homes if you try to follow the same patterns and restrictions. For example, try to agree on roughly what time your children will go to bed, and how long they will be allowed to spend on the Internet each day.

    • 4

      Agree how you and your ex are going to communicate from now on. You will need to discuss matters relating to your children from time to time, and resolve any issues that come up together. If you want to limit face-to-face contact, decide whether to keep in touch by phone, text or email.

    • 5

      Record your agreement electronically or on paper and make sure you both have a copy of it. Refer to this if you need to clarify anything. Revisit your plan from time to time, as you will want to change your children's rules and schedules as they grow older.

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