Positive Parenting Styles

Characteristics of Positive Parenting Styles

• Positive parenting styles contain two main characteristics: limit-setting and warmth. The parental setting of limits helps children practice self-control and understand where the boundaries of society lie. Parental warmth teaches children to be confident in themselves and willing to express their feelings and thoughts. In truth, three positive parenting models exist: authoritarian, permissive and authoritative.

Authoritarian

• The authoritarian rules her household with an iron fist. The authoritarian̵7;s subjects -- or children, if you will -- turn out strong in some areas and lacking in others. Specifically, kids raised by a dictator parent are good at controlling themselves and understanding the rules of society. However, these kids often have lower-than-average self-esteem and find it difficult to express their emotions to others. These outcomes arise from the authoritarian̵7;s strong limits placed on behavior. She tells her children that rules are in place because ̶0;I say so̶1; and that there is no need to argue about these rules. The rules themselves help the authoritarian̵7;s children, but when children feel that the expression of their opinions or emotions will be met with scorn, they tend to avoid expressing themselves. This lack of expression is what stunts the growth of these children̵7;s emotional expressive skills.

Permissive

• Like its name suggests, permissive parenting can be either good or bad, depending on the situation. The permissive style tends to raise children who have strong decision-making skills and are primarily autonomous. However, these children have poor habits in terms of self-discipline and restraint. The permissive parent helps her children by giving them everything they want. After all, if you love your kids, you should give into their every desire, right? The only problem with this is that this style never teaches children a sense of self-control. Children who are used to getting everything they want don̵7;t know how to deal with the emotional stress that comes with disappointment.

Authoritative

• The authoritative style is objectively the best parenting style for raising children with high levels of self-regulation, self-esteem and emotional intelligence, according to John Gottman, psychology professor and author of ̶0;Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.̶1; As an authoritative parent, you take on the role of helping children understand their emotions and how to react appropriately to their emotional urges. An authoritative parent interjects herself in situations the child cannot handle by himself, explaining why the child feels a certain way and how to react to those feelings. For example, an authoritative mother who witnesses her son reacting to his toy being taken away by another boy would intervene. If her son reacted by hitting the other boy, the mom would explain the emotion, followed by the correct response. She might say, ̶0;You feel angry when someone takes your toy, but we don̵7;t hit. Use your words.̶1;