Bringing Up Children in the Jewish and Catholic Faiths
Interfaith marriages, also known as ecumenical marriages, are common in the modern world. The Catholic Bishops website ForYourMarriage.org estimates that up to 40 percent of practicing Catholics have interfaith marriages. Catholics and Jews have very different religious beliefs, which can lead to conflict in raising children. However, in an article for InterfaithFamily.com, hosted by Jewish leaders who recognize the challenges of interfaith marriages, Catholic Reverend Walter H. Cuenin notes that the post-Vatican II Church recognizes the Jews as God̵7;s chosen people. To successfully parent your interfaith children, it is important to respect each other̵7;s beliefs and set out ground rules for the major issues that will arise.
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Religious Education
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A major conflict that often occurs between Jewish and Catholic parents is on the topic of religious education. Jews have Hebrew school, while Catholics have catechism classes. At one time, Catholics were obligated to promise to raise their children solely as Catholics, notes ForYourMarriage.org. Today, however, the Catholic Church recognizes the validity of interfaith families. Catholic parents must promise to affirm the core beliefs of both religions, introduce their children to Catholic practices and support them in whatever religion they choose.
Holiday Celebrations
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The holidays are often a source of conflict for interfaith families. Beyond the religious traditions, holidays are filled with childhood memories and family rituals that often trigger charged emotions. Find ways to honor each parent̵7;s most treasured traditions while creating new rituals that suit your interfaith family. For example, many modern Jews add a symbol to the Passover Seder plate that has personal meaning to them. An artichoke is a commonly used symbol for interfaith families.
Worship
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Where, when and how often to worship is a struggle for many same-faith couples to negotiate. For interfaith couples, this can become a real source of strife. Some partners are comfortable attending each other̵7;s services, while others prefer to attend only those of their own faith. Negotiate a compromise as a couple before presenting your decision to your children, to provide a unified front. Also discuss whether your children will undergo the rites of passage, such as confirmation or bar mitzvah, in one or both religions.
Coping With Relatives
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Many Catholics and Jews are open-minded and able to negotiate religious issues with each other, but come from conservative, traditional families who are unwilling to accept the interfaith family. Work together to decide which issues are nonnegotiable, such as forcing one partner to convert, and which you are willing to compromise on, such as allowing the grandparents to host a traditional Hanukkah celebration. Talk openly with your relatives about your family decisions, but do not allow yourself, your partner or your children to be bullied or belittled.
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