Can Domineering Fathers Cause Problems for Daughters?

Verbal Abuse

• Domineering fathers can cross a line into verbal abuse. In her article on the "Psychology Today" website, "Escape From a Verbally and Emotionally Abusive Father," psychologist and marriage family therapist Dr. Susanne Babbel writes about a daughter whose father was abusive. The father is described as speaking in a demeaning, degrading way to both the mother and his daughter, interviewed in the article. The daughter describes her father as always yelling, and speaking down to herself and, more so, her mother. This type of treatment breaks the spirit of a young girl. Babbel outlines how this treatment creates a feeling of sadness in a daughter, who looks to her relationship with her father as a basis for how her future husband should act.

Independence

• Controlling fathers often lead to daughters who fear independence. In the book, "The Psychology of Parental Control: How Well-Meant Parenting Backfires," by Wendy Grolnick, the author explains how domineering parents squelch a desire for autonomy in children. Grolnick says children grow up with a fear of the outside world. A domineering father does not encourage his daughter to find her place in the world, but rather, he tells her what she will and will not do. A domineering father stifles his daughter's independent nature and will ultimately hurt his relationship with his daughter.

Academic Success

• There is a line between being domineering and assertive. In the book, "Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research and Issues," by Linda Nielsen, the line between assertive father and domineering father is drawn. Fathers who are assertive set attainable goals, and are supportive and encouraging of their daughters. Nielsen says controlling fathers act with aggression and demand outcomes rather than encourage and help daughters. Fathers who are domineering show a lack of support and belief in their daughters. Nielsen says fathers who encourage a sense of self-reliance, and ambition, in their daughters have positive impact on academic achievement.

Teaching Moments

• Children learn through what their experiences are in life. When children are disciplined effectively, they are given the opportunity to learn from their actions, according to the Virginia Cooperative Extension in the article, "Discipline and Punishment: What's the Difference?", reviewed by extension specialist Novella Ruffin. The article also says children who experience harsh discipline only see anger focused on the parent. When a domineering father exhibits anger toward his daughter the only thing he is creating is more anger. A daughter becomes angry at the treatment she is receiving, and angry with herself for bringing about such negativity from her father. The Cooperative Extension article stresses that parents should focus on positive discipline methods. This will foster positive father-daughter relationships for life.