Can Too Much Affection Spoil a Child?

Children need affection, attention, nurturing and love without any restrictions, according to Mardi Lucich, Public Health Foundation trainer, but that doesn't mean that kids shouldn't have boundaries in life. Spoiling allows children to avoid rules and restrictions, but it has little to do with acts of affection. A spoiled child isn't necessarily the same as a member of a family that practices unrestricted affection, but these families can also raise spoiled children.

  1. Spoiled Behavior

    • Spoiled children throw fits when parents don't buy things. Some kids run around in public bothering others, and parents allow the rampages. Spoiled kids typically receive gifts and special privileges, but affection doesn't necessarily tie to gift-giving or buying things for children. Parents show affection by spending personal time with children, but some kids and parents mistakenly group affection with unrestricted actions. Making clear divisions between the two for young children helps to keep the lines and message clear as the child grows.

    Love Lessons

    • Children learn to give love by receiving affection from family members. A steady supply of affection gives kids feelings of security, nurturing, acceptance. Affectionate families show love regardless of any mistakes or failures the child experiences. Affection includes praise, encouragement, physical hugs and kisses and smiles of approval. These behaviors help children develop self-confidence and self-esteem to learn new things and take risks to develop new skills.

    Affection Deprivation

    • Depriving children of love and affection leads to social and emotional issues as an adult. Too little affection creates behaviors typically linked with the classic concept of spoiled children, including whining and tantrum throwing, according to extension specialist Ellen Abell, an associate professor at Auburn University. Children deprived of attention and affection also develop emotional problems, such as the inability to seek comfort from others when hurt or stressed. The Minnesota Association for Children's Mental Health says affection-deprived children generally shy away from social and personal interactions.

    Affectionate Discipline

    • Teaching children appropriate behavior combines clear rules, discipline and an abundance of affection. Kids misbehave during certain ages to test family and societal boundaries, but this has little to do with overly affectionate families. Establishing clear guidelines for behavior and giving fair and consistent discipline that has reasonable punishments, while still offering affection, helps children understand self-control and personal discipline. Tough love shows your feelings of affection, and also demonstrates that you care. Kids gradually learn to separate punishment from your feelings of affection and love as a parent.

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