How to Keep Cool When Disciplining Children

Some days it feels like your child knows just what to do to spark your anger. You know you should stay calm, but keeping your emotions in check is often a challenge while disciplining a child. When you lose your cool, you may end up yelling, disciplining harshly, and saying or doing things you later regret, according to James Lehman, MSW, in an Empowering Parents article. Managing your emotions allows you to discipline fairly and teach your child anger-management skills without feeling guilty later.

Instructions

    • 1

      Set consequences and discipline techniques before you need to use them. You are better able to create logical and effective consequences when you are calm. With those responses in place, you will know how to react when your child misbehaves. Sticking with those consequences gives you a course of action that can help you stay calm.

    • 2

      Manage your overall stress levels that are unrelated to your child. A parent may lash out at a child over something minor if he is upset about money, a disagreement with a co-worker, or other stressful adult situations. Less stress in general helps you stay calm when your child acts up.

    • 3

      Identify situations that typically cause you to lose your temper. Recognizing when you get angry can help you when those situations happen. For example, if you tend to get angry when your kids misbehave at the store, prepare yourself mentally before shopping.

    • 4

      Step back to look at the situation objectively before disciplining instead of taking the misbehavior personally. Your child likely isn't trying to ruin your day by acting out. She may refuse to get ready for school because she is worried about a test. That temper tantrum in the afternoon may stem from hunger or feeling tired. If you realize that your child has an unmet need or an emotion she hasn't expressed, you may not feel as angry.

    • 5

      Listen to your child when he explains the situation. You see him yelling at his sister, but you didn't see her break his favorite toy. Some situations parents perceive as misbehavior have an explanation. If you automatically discipline your child, he may argue or resist, which can cause you to become upset.

    • 6

      Talk yourself out of your anger if you begin losing your cool. Say something to calm yourself, such as, "I am the adult and I am in charge. I need to stay calm." Or repeat a mantra. Say, "Breathe," or "Stay calm," to yourself. Kids notice when you get frustrated or angry and may react even worse because of it, according to KidsHealth. Talking yourself out of frustration may help keep the situation from escalating.

    • 7

      Excuse yourself from the room if you can't calm down, as long as your child is safe in the room alone. Pace in another room, breathe deeply or distract yourself with a calming activity. When you regain control of your emotions, return to resolve the situation.

    2. Previous:

    Next:

    • How to Teach a Child to Tie Shoes
      In todays age of Velcro straps and slip-on shoes, teaching a child how to tie shoes may seem like something that can wait. However, there will inevitably come a time when your child wants a pair of shoes that has laces. Besides encouraging self-relia
    • How to Talk to Your Children About Gay Relationships
      Children often learn about straight relationships and sexual practices, but sometimes they have little or no knowledge or carry negative views of gay relationships. They often develop ideas about gay and lesbian couples from media images and messages
    • How Do Peanut Allergies Affect Children?
      Despite the name, peanuts are actually a legume, like string beans. The American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology estimates at least 400,000 children are allergic to peanuts in the United States. Each child is different, while allergies ra