How to Deal With Jealousy Among Siblings

Your kids fight for a variety of reasons -- boredom, stress, lack of attention, inequalities, entertainment and mere circumstance. Jealousy is often found at the root of squabbles. Some sibling rivalry is part of childhood and family life; it might be impossible to mitigate completely. However, you can help your children learn to deal with feelings of jealousy in a positive manner.

Instructions

    • 1

      Pay attention to what your children get jealous about. Understand who feels the victim and why by doing a little detective work. Each situation may be a bit different, but look for patterns such as fighting for attention or over certain belongings. Plan ahead for situations that cause jealousy. Notice patterns, such as a certain time of day or activity that is associated with rivalry.

    • 2

      Give them individual attention, if you don't already, on a daily basis. Get help from others if you do not have enough time to go around. Celebrate your child̵7;s differences -- appreciate each one for who they are.

    • 3

      Never compare your children. Don̵7;t play favorites and never say one child should try to be more like the other. Even if you don't mean it, careless words can be harmful. Be fair -- even if things are not always equal. Raise your children to cooperate rather than compete.

    • 4

      Give older children responsibility and roles in helping with younger siblings, making them feel important. Remind them that you did the same things for them when they were younger, if you spent a lot of time caring for a new sibling.

    • 5

      Stay out of it, if it seems like they can work through it themselves. If you do get involved, begin with the end in mind. Never -- ever -- pick sides. If it is someone's fault, they both are to blame.

    • 6

      Model the behavior you want to see. Teach them sharing techniques, like flipping a coin. Listen more than you talk. Don̵7;t yell.

    • 7

      Ask them what could have been done differently -- when things calm down. Help them process the situation, eventually they will learn to do this on their own.

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