Tips on Better Family Communication

Insist on Family Meals

• It may not seem like it at times, but you are in charge of your schedule, not the other way around. Make it a non-negotiable that everyone is around for a family dinner at least four times a week. If something conflicts with that, give it up. Make eating together a priority over everything else. Also, turn off the TV while you eat.

Schedule Individual Time

• If you have more than one child, it might seem to you and to your children that they're always fighting to be heard. Carve out some alone time with each child once a week. It can be as short as half an hour, but make sure it really is uninterrupted time with only that child and spend it doing something he enjoys. That's the time that your child will know he has your undivided attention, and he may begin to open up to you. Dates with your spouse are important, too. Book a babysitter every couple of weeks, and go out, just the two of you, to talk and relax. Think of it as marriage maintenance, and it won't seem self-indulgent.

Use Car Time

• If you're still at the stage where you're driving your kids around to lots of different sports events or classes, use that time in the car. Don't turn on the DVD player or let them play video games for the whole ride. Use the time to engage them in conversation, or even just play a silly game about things you can spot on the road. You'll feel more connected.

Create a Family Website

• Perhaps your family members are always hidden behind computer screens. Well, if you can't beat them, join them. Try creating a family website. Post pictures, create a blog for family members and plan a calendar for activities you're planning together. Make it a fun, go-to online destination, and allow everyone to contribute and create.

Make Family Traditions Important

• If you already have some family traditions, don't let them be forgotten in the rush. Make sure they're observed and that everyone enjoys them. If you feel you need some more, ask your children to come up with some ideas for something you will all do together, that you can look forward to. Traditions can be as simple as a Sunday morning bike ride together or a regular family movie night.

Expect Respect, and Give It

• One of the toughest things about communicating as a family is that you are all so familiar with each other that it can be difficult to always treat one another with respect and observe personal boundaries. But before you speak harshly or sarcastically to your child or spouse, ask yourself if you would speak this way to another person's child or another adult in your life. If anything, your family members are even more deserving of your respect. Even when you are disciplining a child, do it respectfully. In return, make it clear to your children and spouse that you are just as deserving of their respect.