Teaching Children How to Be a Good Dinner Guest

Eat as a Family

• Eating as a family has been linked to positive social progress. According to a study by Dr. Catherine Snow at Harvard̵7;s Graduate School of Education, conversation around the family table helped young children learn more words and context than reading to them did. When kids learn more vocabulary, they can better understand manner lessons. Eating as a family is also a practical way to correct behaviors as they occur and to teach table manners. It gives kids the opportunity to learn to take turns, to be polite and not to interrupt conversation. Once they learn these behaviors at home, they will be more likely to act similarly outside of the home.

Lead by Example

• If you expect your kids to have good manners, you have to have good manners, too. According to renowned pediatrician Dr. Sears, parents do not have to make a "special point of being polite." Instead, when kids hear parents use phrases such as "thank you," "please" and "excuse me," they will likely follow suit. This behavior sets the tone for expectations in your home. Similarly, for older kids, model good behaviors, for example, keeping the dinner table an electronics-free zone and not interrupting.

Demonstrate Utensil Use

• Teach even the youngest of children to eat with utensils rather than with their hands. Also, teach them to eat with their utensils slowly. For older kids, teach them that the number of utensils typically corresponds with the number of courses. Explain they will usually start with the outside utensil and work in with each presented course.

Focus on the Basics

• Start teaching your kids basic table manners while they are young. Even toddlers can understand lessons such as chewing with their mouth closed and not talking while food is in their mouth. Kids should also learn to compliment the food and not to criticize it. Teach kids to ask for food and to pass it clockwise. They should avoid making noises at the table. Even if kids do not finish their food, they should remain seated until everyone else is finished. Kids may also be encouraged to help the host clear or set the table. Etiquette expert Emily Post recommends focusing on three main manners at a time.

Teach More Formal Lessons

• As kids grow, they can learn more sophisticated forms of dining. For example, they should wait for their host to place her napkin in her lap at the beginning of the meal before following suit. Likewise, they should wait for their host to place her napkin on the table to indicate that the meal is finished. Kids who are dining out should be taught not to take advantage of their host's generosity by ordering items or extra courses that are too expensive.

Use Positive Reinforcement

• When you notice your children using good table manners, compliment them. This attention helps them realize when they are acting in an acceptable manner and they will more likely remember to engage in the same behavior when they are someone else's dinner guest.