Can a Child Become Spoiled if He Is Held Too Much?

It's natural to want to snuggle your little one, but many parents wonder if holding a child too much or too often could turn him from a cute cuddlebug into a spoiled brat. Fortunately for moms, dads, and grandparents, cuddles and affection are actually beneficial to a child's health and won't cause spoiling.

  1. Affection and Kids

    • Babies and young children aren't pros at controlling or expressing their emotions yet, so it's up to parents to provide a foundation of love and affection that lets a child learn how to deal with the world. Touching, cuddling and holding are all part of creating a secure emotional base for your child, and kids who get a lot of physical touch when they are young grow up to be more secure, emotionally stable adults. A study published in 2010 in the "Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health" found that babies who were held and cuddled the most at 8 months old had better emotional functioning as adults.

    Material Goods and Spoiling

    • While holding your child can't spoil him, overindulging in material goods can. Avoid giving treats or toys as a bribe for good behavior or you could end up with a child who learns to behave badly in order to get something she wants. Instead, give genuine verbal praise when your child does something good on her own.

    Setting Rules

    • Spoiled children are those who learn that they can bend the rules or manipulate others to get what they want. Setting age-appropriate rules and being affectionate don't have to be mutually exclusive, though. For example, it's OK to comfort your child with a hug if he's upset about having to put away his toys for the night, as long as you don't give in to tears and tantrums by letting him leave the toys out. Refraining from holding your child when he's upset can lead to more problems in the future, so don't tie giving affection to reward and punishment. Withdrawing affection as punishment can cause low self-esteem, parental resentment and behavioral problems when your child grows older, according to a study published in 2004 in the "Journal of Personality."

    Considerations

    • Because touch and holding is so important for the emotional development of a young child and cannot cause spoiling, you should try to provide physical affection as often as possible. As your child gets older, she will want to be held less and less, so enjoy the cuddle time while you have it and rest assured that you are benefitting your child with every hug and snuggle, not turning her into a spoiled youngster.

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