Things That Damage a Child's Self-Esteem

Verbal Abuse

• Verbal abuse is extremely damaging to a child's self-esteem. Verbally abusive messages tell a child that he's in some way inferior, ineffective and inadequate. Statements that can damage a child's self-esteem include, "You're so lazy," You're a pain in the behind," "You're bad," and countless others. Psychology professor Natalie Sachs-Ericsson, in an article posted on Florida State University's website, says children reared in emotionally and verbally abusive homes are likely to grow up to be self-critical adults prone to depression and anxiety. Children seldom question the messages given to them by their parents and family members, and are likely to accept verbally abusive comments as facts about themselves. What may seem like harmless words spoken in a moment of anger and rage can cause serious emotional and psychological damage in children.

Physical Abuse

• Physical abuse is not only damaging to a child's self-esteem; it can also be fatal. SafeHorizon.org reports that in 2010, more than 1,500 U.S. children died because of abuse or neglect. Child abuse can cause symptoms of withdrawal and depression in children as young as 3 years old, and can cause victims to exhibit a lifetime of destructive behaviors. When excessive force is used on children -- especially by their caregivers -- it makes them feel unloved, confused, threatened and insecure. Physically abused children often think it's their fault that a loved one has chosen to hurt them. Children who grow up in physically abusive households also have an increased risk of displaying abusive behavior toward others.

Lack of Quality Time

• When parents make time for their kids, they send them the message that they're important to their parents and worthy of their time. Parents who fail to spend quality time with their children subject them to feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy. Quality time is the operative word here; simply being in the same room with a child doesn't equate to spending quality time with him. Parents should strive to engage in activities with their kids that facilitate bonding and getting to know each other. Constantly checking emails and social media posts during designated family time sends kids the message that other things are more important than spending time with them.

Feeling Unloved

• Saying "I love you" and demonstrating it are two different concepts. Children are more likely to feel loved based on their parents' actions than by mere words alone. A parent's reliability and interest in a child's activities are ways that kids realize their parents love them. When parents constantly miss their kids' recitals, games and other important events, their children may feel that their parents don't love them enough to show up for them. The KidsHealth website recommends that parents show their kids affection -- by giving hugs, kisses and praise -- to boost their self-esteem. This is a physical demonstration of parents' acknowledgement of and love for their kids.