Are Competitive Games Helpful or Harmful for Children?

Choosing Games

• Games where children compete to win can result in competitiveness, while learning new skills takes a back seat, according to the Root Parenting website. For this reason, it's important to allow your child to decide when she's ready to play a team sport. If she's not a fan of competitive games, alternates can keep her physically active while still teaching her cooperation skills. Hide-and-seek or biking work well because there is no winner or loser, but your child is still getting some exercise and might even learn to interact with others in a cooperative way without worrying about who's going to come out on top.

Pros

• One of the biggest benefits of competition is that it can help motivate your child to do his best, according to Dr. David Hibbard from California State University. Losing a big game can create the drive to practice harder and do better next time around. Competition that helps a child to do his best can improve self-esteem and reduce levels of depression. If playing a team sport makes your child want to improve his game and practice his skills, the competition is likely beneficial for him. Team sports also build cooperation and socialization skills.

Cons

• Competing to excel might be beneficial, but if your child competes simply to be the winner, it might not be so good. If the only thing on your kid's mind is to be the best and to win at everything, she might have fewer close relationships and may suffer damage to her self-worth, according to Hibbard, in an article published for PsychCentral. This might also lead to name-calling and taunting of players on the opposing team, as well as of teammates who make a mistake or whose skills aren't at her level. In some cases, a kid isn't competing so much with other kids as she is in competition with herself, adds the Root Parenting website. In this case, competition can make a child selfish and focused on herself. A big prize can also distract kids from the game or activity they're competing in because they are so focused on the reward, which can take away from learning new skills and the self-gratification that occurs with personal success.

Age Considerations

• The benefits of competition vary among children. Kids in the early grade school years often compete to gain new skills, such as riding a bike, rather than simply to be the winner, according to Meyers. A game that has winners and losers can damage a young child's self-image because some kids are more likely to compare their worth to their ability to win. For older kids, competition can lead to aggression, mood issues and problems with social functioning, says Hibbard. That doesn't mean you have to ban team sports until your child reaches his teen years. Focusing on learning, fun and effort, and holding off on emphasizing competition can get kids playing games in a healthy way, notes Meyers.