What Effects Do Parental Expectations Have on Kids?

Expectations are the guidelines you erect for your children regarding both behaviors and accomplishments, defines the National PTA website. If children don̵7;t know or understand parental expectations, they have a significant disadvantage because they lack crucial information that helps them work toward goals and regulate behavior.

  1. Low Expectations

    • When parents set expectations at levels that are beneath a child̵7;s abilities or without sufficient challenges, the result may lead to a lack of motivation and subsequent failure, warns The Pacific Institute website. With low expectations, a child may not learn how to reach and persevere to reach goals. Perseverance requires tenacity and resiliency, which comes as a child works toward goals and achieves them. Instead of working to achieve goals, the child may underperform, develop complacency and begin doubting abilities if expectations are too low.

    Excessive Expectations

    • On the other side of the spectrum, excessively high expectations can be demotivating to a child as well, cautions psychologist Sylvia Rimm. A child may feel overwhelmed and unable to achieve expectations if parents set them too high. These feelings may lead the child to feel anxious and depressed, which could lead to procrastinating and giving up to avoid failure.

    Expectations of Efforts

    • People often have limited control of abilities or the final outcomes of efforts, cautions professor Jim Taylor, writing for Psychology Today. If you base expectations for your child on his ability to win the spelling bee or her success in being hired for a part-time job, you place expectations on your child that may be impossible to meet. Instead, focus on the efforts your child expends as the child works to meet expectations. Your child can control how hard he studies to perform well in the spelling bee. Even if he doesn̵7;t come in first, you can praise his effort because he worked diligently. Your child can put forth concerted efforts to perform well during the hiring process. Even if she doesn't get the job, her efforts are exemplary simply because she tried hard.

    Monitoring Children

    • Keep a watchful eye on your children as they work to meet your expectations to ensure that the expectations are reasonable and appropriate. A child will show if she feels overwhelmed with excessively high expectations by acting frustrated and displaying reluctance to participate or try to succeed. A child may show that your expectations are too low by acting bored and unmotivated. If you detect problems, ask questions, resist criticizing, listen actively and offer support to readjust expectations and help your child succeed.

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