What Issues Affect Gifted Siblings?

Gifted children tend to be perfectionistic, self-critical and prone to social difficulties, according to Mary-Elaine Jacobsen of the Davidson Institute. They have highly individualized educational needs and often display widely disparate skills in different areas. Therefore, it would seem logical that their sibling relationships would be complex and fraught with difficulty. Yet, according to a Duke University study, this generally is not true. Sibling pairs in which one or both are gifted often have more positive relationships than other siblings. Yet, they sometimes fall victim to common sibling rivalries.

  1. Competition

    • Many gifted children are highly competitive. If one child is gifted and the other is not, the nongifted sibling sometimes feels overshadowed. Minimize competition by emphasizing the positive attributes of each child. Teach your kids to share their interests and skills with each other, rather than trying to show off. Praise each child and avoid making comparisons between them.

    Privileges

    • The highly personalized needs of gifted children often lead to their participation in special classes and activities, from a daily enrichment group to a national math or science competition. It is easy for his sibling to see these extra activities as special privileges. Head off jealousy by encouraging all your children to find and explore their natural talents. For example, one child might head to a spelling bee, while another competes in a soccer tournament. Set privileges at home based on age, chores or other neutral criteria, rather than intelligence.

    Time With Parents

    • Highly verbal children often dominate family conversations. Those who are outspoken about their needs and desires often find it easier to get the things they want. Take time to speak individually with each child on a regular basis. Also, plan special parent-child outings with one child at a time. If one child needs to tag along to another̵7;s lessons or practices, turn it into a special event for the one who is waiting. Allow her to bring a favorite book, go out for ice cream or just relax and enjoy your time together.

    Fairness

    • Many children, gifted and average, have a strong sense of fairness. Some parents deny their gifted children opportunities to pursue their dreams because they worry that it might not be fair to their other children. As long as all of your children receive equal opportunities to explore the things that are important to them, this is an excellent chance to teach them that fairness is not equal to sameness.

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