Is Letting Your Kids Scream Good for Them?

Sleep Training

• The cry-it-out method of sleep training says it̵7;s fine if a child cries for a little while before you go in to provide comfort. Pediatrician Richard Ferber says in his 1985 book (updated in 2006) ̶0;Solve Your Child̵7;s Sleep Problems̶1; that crying is necessary for some babies as they learn to sleep on their own. The method works by having the parents steadily increase the amount of time between going into the room to offer comfort. The idea is that instead of waking up in the middle of the night to cry for you if you rock or nurse him to sleep, he will be able to put himself back to sleep.

Is Crying It Out OK?

• The cry-it-out method is not for every parent or baby. However, its proponents say that it does not harm a child to have to cry for a few minutes. The end result is well worth the struggle of having to listen to the crying. Those against crying it out, such as Darcia Narvaez, a professor of psychology writing on a "Psychology Today" blog, feel that not responding to an infant̵7;s cries or trying to prevent them leads to their growing up more dependent than those raised by parents who are more responsive to their needs. Narvaez also asserts that neurons can be destroyed in a developing child̵7;s brain when cortisol is released during stressful screaming.

Tantrums

• Tantrums, according to Utah State University̵7;s OpenCourseWare, they are a result of conditioning: children fuss, and they get what they want. Stopping tantrums is best for not only the ears of parents, but also for the child. Beyond the child̵7;s learning that a tantrum gets her what she wants, her education can suffer significantly as well. In a 1991 State University of New York study cited by USU, teachers spent much less time instructing students who have tantrums.

Stopping Tantrums

• Letting your child scream during a tantrum at home is one way to indicate you are ignoring the behavior and that your child will not get what he wants. When a tantrum ensues, remove him from your presence, calmly explaining he cannot be with you when he acts that way. Do it as many times as necessary. Let him scream until he is completely finished. When you are out in public, find a secluded place for him to calm down. When the tantrums are done, tell your child you are glad he is feeling better again and that you love him. When he behaves appropriately, praise him.