Positive Discipline Tips

Set Clear Expectations

• When you discuss rules with your children, make sure you tell them exactly what to expect if they engage in certain behaviors. It's important that children understand how they should act and what the consequences are for misbehavior. Communicating your expectations clearly shows children that you are serious about protecting them and helping them learn good behaviors.

Follow Through

• Positive discipline relies on children knowing that when they behave badly, they will suffer consequences. As a parent, your job is to follow through with your promises and your consequences for bad behavior. If you don't consistently follow through, then the rules are meaningless, and children will continue to misbehave. This also means that you shouldn't set consequences that you won't be able to follow through on when necessary.

Ignore Negative Behavior

• Children seek attention from parents, even negative attention like yelling. When your child breaks a rule or throws a tantrum, don't reward him with negative attention. Ignore the behavior until the child stops, and then talk calmly with him about his behavior. It may be very difficult to refrain from responding to negative behaviors because children will escalate in order to get attention. However, if you can continue to practice ignoring, children will eventually stop the behavior.

Use Positive Reinforcement

• An important component of positive discipline is praising good behavior. When your child does well or reacts appropriately, you should let her know. Praise rewards good behavior with positive attention instead of rewarding bad behavior with negative attention. Positive reinforcement of good behavior also helps develop a child's self-esteem and ability to make good choices.

Control Your Emotions

• If you want your child to be calm, you have to be calm. Children learn by watching adults, and they will imitate your behavior and even mirror your emotions. Yelling and expressing anger will encourage your children to do the same. If your child has upset you, it's better to turn your back or walk away for a moment until you regain your calm instead of responding to your child in anger.

Give Choices

• Instead of simply telling your child what he shouldn't do, try telling him what he should do. Giving children an alternative behavior will redirect their energy toward something positive. Giving children choices also encourages self-esteem development because they feel that they are in control of their environment.