How to Be a Less Pushy Mom
Many pushy moms don't realize they're being pushy -- they feel they're simply acting out of love. Pushy moms often keep their eyes not on the child but on the prize. "My child may not be happy now," they say, "but he'll thank me in the long run." However, as a parent, your child's guaranteed present happiness should be more important as the future chance of success.
Instructions
Accept your kids for who they are, recommends the Mayo Clinic website. Some of a parent's pushiness might come from the desire to change kids into who the parents want them to be, without taking the time to appreciate their children's unique qualities. Acknowledge your child is an individual with his own style, mannerism, talents and dreams -- your job as a mom is to nurture your child's journey as he becomes the best he can while staying true to himself. Relax expectations. Your child doesn't have to have the highest IQ or the best jump shot. Although you naturally want your child to succeed, make sure his own well-being is priority. Pushing a child constantly can weaken his confidence in his abilities, points out a book "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character" that brings pause to American helicopter parents, according to a U.K. review in the "The Telegraph." British or American, a child needs the room to make mistakes, to decide for himself what he likes to do and to discover his own capabilities. Resist the urge to compare yourself to other moms or to compare your child to their children. Moms are often pushy because they feel societal pressure to keep up with the perceived progress of their peers. Remember that your life is not a race, and neither is your child̵7;s. The definition of ̶0;winning̶1; varies from person to person. Relax and set your own pace, and measure your own success. Enjoy your own life. Sometimes a mom becomes pushy she has made her child her whole world. It is never wise to live vicariously through a child. Remember that you are an individual with a full identity outside of ̶0;Mommy.̶1; Take time alone to relax and renew yourself. Engage in hobbies you love, whether it̵7;s reading, taking long baths, going shopping with friends, singing or dancing. Find ways to make your own self happy. Spend quality time with your child. Talk to him. Get to know him. Learn his likes and dislikes, and all his quirky traits. The better you know him as individual, the better you̵7;ll know what̵7;s best for him. You̵7;ll know which activities suit his personality. When he gets frustrated or lazy, you̵7;ll know when to add pressure and when to ease up.
