How to Stop Being A Co-Dependent Parent
A codependent parent is a parent who has a difficult time in setting limits. Even if limits are set, they are disregarded time after time. The parent also has a difficult time in following through with any consequences.
There are differences between a co-dependent and a responsible parent. A responsible parent tries to instruct and guide the child in the right direction. Starting at a young age, the parent sets limits and enforces consequences, for the parent realizes that enforcing limits and consequences is easier to do at the age of two, rather than at the age of fifteen. Moreover, the responsible parent has a life apart from the child. In other words, the parent's life does not revolve entirely around the child.
In comparison, a codependent parent is one who tries to always fix or rescue the child from his problems. This type of parent will never allow the child to deal with the consequences of his actions. To achieve this goal, the codependent parent goes to great lengths, even lying and cheating to rescue or fix the child's problems. Thus said, a codependent parent's primary job is to try to make the child, in the eyes of others, perfect.
Instructions
To stop being a codependent parent, stop rescuing your child all the time. Realize that you are doing your child a great injustice. It is not just you and your child in the world. Realize that you and your child are a part of a much bigger world, one that punishes negative behavior. To stop being a codependent parent, set rules and have consequences. Not only must you have rules and consequences, but also you must adhere to them. If not, you are showing your child that you do not mean what you say. To stop being a codependent parent, you should not uphold your child as being 'perfect.' Allow your child to be an individual with strengths and weaknesses. Most of all, do not try to make your child a mini version of yourself. To stop being a codependent parent, get a life for yourself. Do you not have different interests, which you would like to pursue? You will not be able to if your entire life revolves around your child. It is not a compliment to say that you do not have time for yourself. What you are really saying is that you do not value yourself enough to make time for you.
