How to Help Children Cope With Death

Death touches everyone at some point, whether it̵7;s the death of a pet, a relative, a friend or classmate. Parents may wish to shelter their children from the pain of loss, but young people must learn to cope with death. You can help your kids deal with the loss of a loved one by providing age-appropriate information, encouraging them to express their feelings and seeking professional help for them if needed.

Instructions

    • 1

      Provide information in age-appropriate terms. Keep in mind that young children under the age of 6 may not understand what death means. The KidsHealth website suggests explaining that sometimes the body stops working and doctors cannot fix it and then someone dies. Don̵7;t compare death to going to sleep -- children may then think the deceased person can wake up again or may begin to fear going to sleep because they don̵7;t want to die.

    • 2

      Answer questions simply and directly. Remember that young children tend to think in very literal terms. If they ask where their deceased loved one is, for instance, they may not be asking about an afterlife. Explain that their loved one is at the funeral home or at the cemetery. Provide more information if your kids ask for it.

    • 3

      Practice patience. Keep in mind that children under the age of 6 may not understand that death is permanent. The KidsHealth website explains that for this reason, they may ask repeatedly when a deceased loved one will return. Remind them as many times as necessary that their loved one cannot return.

    • 4

      Encourage children to express their feelings about death, including sadness and fear. Resist the urge to try to talk them out of their feelings. For instance, instead of telling kids there is nothing to be afraid of, acknowledge that it is scary when a loved one dies. Reassure them that they are safe and will be cared for, but don̵7;t discourage them from expressing feelings of fear.

    • 5

      Help children find a way to honor and remember their deceased loved one. That might include attending the funeral, but the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry advises against insisting children attend a funeral if they don̵7;t want to or feel afraid of going. Instead, they can remember their loved one by making a scrapbook, saying a prayer, looking at photographs or telling stories about their loved one.

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