How to Write a Behavior Contract

When you are having problems getting your child to obey, a behavior contract can be a good way to lay down expectations, boundaries and consequences. It's important to write an effective behavior contract to increase the odds of successful behavior modification.

Instructions

    • 1

      Have clear goals for the behavior contract. You can't write an effective contract if you're not clear on exactly what you want to accomplish. Know what behaviors you want the child to change and what you want the child to do instead.

    • 2

      Allow the child to have some input. Children will be more likely to follow the terms of a behavior contract when they have a hand in its creation. While you need to be the one to prepare the main aspects, leave some room for negotiation. For example, allow the child to help you choose the consequences for breaking the contract rather than simply dictating the punishment yourself.

    • 3

      Write out the contract, spelling out the goals, expectations and consequences very clearly. A child cannot abide by a behavior contract if it's too vague or unclear. Be as specific as possible to reduce the chance of any misunderstandings.

    • 4

      Go over the contract with the child and have her sign off on it. This gives the child a chance to ask questions or to seek clarification. By having her sign it, you get a concrete sign that she is agreeing to the terms. This also gives her subconscious buy-in because she is making that agreement in a tangible way.

    • 5

      Keep the contract in a conspicuous place so you can easily refer to it. If the child is on the verge of breaking it, you can take it out and remind him of his agreement in concrete terms. If he still violates the contract, you can use it as a neutral touchstone by saying, "Remember when you signed this and agreed to follow these rules? You also agreed to these consequences if you broke the contract." This will help reduce anger and defensiveness at the punishment.

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